


No More

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Canon, Ethan Gold Bashing, Michael Novotny Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-14
Updated: 2008-11-26
Packaged: 2018-12-27 14:33:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12083058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian receives a late night phone call that will change everything. What could of happened to Justin to have made him call after Brian and Justin broke up.  Set right after episode 301.  Ethan has crossed a line after the punch by Brian and Justin snaps.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes: This is my first posting on the site and I hope you enjoy. The story will bounce between Brian and Justin P.O.V.   


* * *

No more  
  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Brian P.O.V.  
  
  
  
To say that things went back to normal after Justin left is an understatement. Nothing in my life will ever be the same after meeting him that fateful night. Deep down I knew I felt something that first night something I would probably never feel again.  
  
Hell even my offer to him on the first night is one I never did not give to anybody before nor will I ever say it again. 2 months after Justin left me for the fiddler I still follow his fucking rules not that I really enjoy kissing anyone other then him and what the hell do I need to be out past 3am.  
  
It feels like a lifetime since I have seen Justin. Hell I don’t even know if he is in Pittsburgh anymore. PIFA mailed me back this semester’s tuition, saying that Mr. Taylor is no longer a student therefore they no longer need payment from me.  
  
To hear that he dropped out of college was outrageous I cannot believe he chose to throw everything away that he worked so hard for. What shocked me even more was that he no longer worked at the diner and I know the fiddler and he need the money.  
  
Mother Taylor a few days ago came knocking on my door checking to see if I had heard from him which would be a joke, why he would call me. To find out that he has not talked to his mother is shocking they always had a close relationship with each other.  
  
The last time I saw his beautiful face was at the muncher’s anniversary. I still cannot believe that Michael had the nerve to say that about Justin. I completely lost my temper like I have never done before.  
  
One thing I can say for certain for me and Justin is words were not always necessary for the two of us. We were always able to read each other’s emotions by simple looks alone. That day when our eyes met he was speaking in volumes to me. What I say was ‘Please forgive me, I hope you will.’  
  
That was so long ago, almost a lifetime ago. A month and a half is longer then I ever imagined going with out seeing him at least once a day. I was happy when I could go into the diner and see him there.  
  
Now that he is no longer working there is causing everyone of our liberty family to freak out, everyone except Michael. I will never understand the animosity between them but it is just something they will both have to get over one day. Debbie has been riding me for over a week now to find him I haven’t tried to do so yet.  
  
I really do miss him, not just for all the amazing sex we used to have or even the blow jobs, I just miss his presence. I miss waking up everyday to a ray of sunshine. I miss waking up and smelling coffee that he made because for some reason his coffee always tasted better then mine. Don’t even get me started on the creamer, always a personal favorite.  
  
I never thought I would ever consider being with someone like I was with Justin. The time I did spend with Justin was the happiest times in my whole worthless life. It doesn’t help that I have to think about him just to be able to enjoy the sex that I have with tricks. After the guy compared me to ‘Citizen Kane’ it shocked me because I now realized that I am barely going through the motions of living.  
  
I hate Justin for making me see that, I hate him for showing me how good life could be and then taking it away. I hate him for making me care about someone other then myself. I hate him for making me feel loved. I hate him for challenging me every chance he could. I truly hate him for making me care about Gus.  
  
For all the things I hate about him I couldn’t be more grateful for showing me how good life can really be. All of these feelings could be resurfacing mainly because today 1 year ago Justin and I were dancing at his prom.  
  
I always hoped that one day he would remember the whole situation and not just me calling out his name. That night I knew I had fallen in love with Justin, I am not sure the exact moment but I knew then, there was no turning back for me.  
  
How the world can change in the blink of an eye. I learned that night that nothing is forever; you can lose your whole world in the swing of a bat. I can still see him lying on the cement floor losing his life in my arms.  
  
All those nights that Justin had nightmares I too had them. They were not of seeing Chris Hobbs, they were of seeing Justin lying in my arms bleeding to death, and the only difference to what really happened is he open his eyes looks into mine and tells me over and over. “This is all your fault Brian. I hate you for what you did to me, I’ll never forgive you.”  
  
Every time I hear those words in my dreams it cuts me to the core. The sheer hate in his voice in my dream is so realistic. Those words hurt me more then any punch from Jack. It hurts more then any condescending look from Joan. It is the most painful thing ever.  
  
That is why I am lying here awake at 4:16am. I am afraid of what I will see, terrified of what the image of Justin will say to me tonight. I have resisted the urge to call him today, I just need to know that he is okay that the demons he has hidden inside are not coming up for a fresh haunting.  
  
I know Justin now has the fiddler to hold him, to tell him there will be no more pain. That doesn’t change the fact that I want it to be me, that I understand having demons inside of you that just will not go away. I yearn to hold him and tell him that the world will be okay and will not hurt him anymore but that is Ivan’s job now.  
  
Since Justin departure I have had a weekly appointment with my substitute Justin hustler. I still cannot believe I am paying for sex but I need to see that blonde hair and lithe body to have a soul shattering orgasm. Malcolm, the hustler, is quite talented in what he does but in comparison to who he is replacing doesn’t even compare, though no one does.  
  
Even in the very beginning Justin was the best. His first blow job he gave me was better then the most talented of mouths. Everything Justin has ever done has always shocked and I loved every second of it.  
  
When we played with the ice cream after Michael and I had our falling it was a sticky good and I never thought once about all the calories I was digesting. Right after we found dumpster boy and I choked him, we had our first experience with breathe play.  
  
Anything I could ever think of trying we did. Every possible fantasy I have ever thought we tried at least once. The best part of it they were all the same fantasies Justin ever had as well. That way he added his own special touch and made my fantasy even better then I could have ever imagined.  
  
Of the couple hundred thousand orgasms I have ever had I can barely remember them all. When it comes to all the amazing orgasms I have ever had with Justin I can remember each one with great detail. He is my whole top ten great fuck list.  
  
My favorite would have to be the first time he ever tried ecstasy. After a couple hours of grinding and dancing at Babylon we head back to the loft. First he blessed me with a two hour blow job then he rimmed me for an hour and a half. He worked up my whole body sending every inch of my skin making me scream for his touch.  
  
Just thinking about that night has me harder then I could imagine. I slowly lower my hand to my crotch and I can already feel the warmth of my cock, I imagine it was his strong hands doing it. I think of the first time we ever went to the baths.  
  
As soon as we entered the building we had hundreds of offers to worship our bodies. Left and right we heard people begging us to allow them to either rim us, blow us, suck our balls, or fuck them. It felt amazing to have him by my side being so excited to see and smell all the new things.  
  
I tighten my grip on my cock as all the mental images are flashing through my head. The faster I work my cock the more visible I can see Justin face and body. I can feel my balls start to tighten alerting me of my impending orgasm.  
  
Just as I am about to cum I hear my useless house phone ringing of the hook. I do not want to hear it ring again so I chose to answer it with my usual pissed off manor. “What the fuck do you want?”  
  
A computerized voice comes through my phone after there was 30 seconds of silence. “You have a collect call from Justin Taylor from the Allegheny County Jail. To accept press 1, to refuse all collect calls from this establishment press 9.”  
  
Before the computer has a chance to finish I accept the call. “Brian oh my god I didn’t mean to kill him. Help me!”  



	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Brian P.O.V.  
  
  
  
The fear I hear in Justin’s voice rocks me to the core, I have never heard him so afraid in my life. I have to try to calm him down. “Justin what happened who did you kill?”  
  
“I couldn’t take anymore I tried to tell him I couldn’t take him doing that to me anymore more. I didn’t mean for it to happen it all was like a dream, I really didn’t want to hurt him.”  
  
“Slow down Justin, how did it happen?”  
  
“I killed him Brian. I didn’t mean to do it I just had to stop the pain. I hurt so much Brian, I hurt all over, and I just needed it to stop. I begged him not to hurt me anymore but he wouldn’t stop the pain.”  
  
Justin killed someone wholly fuck my sweet innocent Justin killed someone. I do not know what to think as I get out of the bed and turn on the TV. The 5am KDKA news was on and the words scared me to the core.  
  
“On the one year anniversary of his bashing at his prom, Justin Taylor has been arrested for murder of aspiring violinist, Ethan Gold.” I hit the mute button as I rather hear it from Justin and not some bull shit reporter.  
  
What sort of pain did that piece of shit Ian do to my Sunshine? Justin kept saying he hurt so much, what could he have done to him. “Brian, he was so enraged tonight he was going to kill me. Oh my god what did I do I need a lawyer.”  
  
“Justin we’ll figure out what to. We’ll get through this together, I promise you.”  
  
“Brian I tried to leave him that is why he did this to me. Please Brian don’t call the gang I do not want them to know yet, oh god when my mom finds out please don’t tell her or Daphne. I need your help.”  
  
The stupid automated voice comes through the phone line saying we only have one minute left. “It will be okay.” I feel like I am on repeat as that is the only thing I can think right now. “I’ll call the best lawyer I can find and I will get you out of there no matter what the cost.”  
  
“Brian I am so sorry, I did not know who else to call, and I know you don’t care but I need to know that you forgive me. That is why he did this to me is because I...”  
  
Before Justin had a chance to finish the call ended. My mind was racing; I did not know how to process everything he just said to me. The only thing I knew for sure is I would be calling in a lot of favors tonight.  
  
First on my list is a trick I fucked a couple months prior to tonight, he begged for a repeat and gave me his card. Today it will finally become useful, Bruce Frick. Unfortunately his wife answered and I did not care just as long as they were willing to help Justin.  
  
“Sally Frick how may I help you?”  
  
“Yes my name is Brian Kinney I was trying to contact Bruce, but if you are a lawyer you will do just fine.”  
  
“Yes Mr. Kinney I am a lawyer and most will tell you better then my husband depending on what kind of case I am defending. Bruce is more the white collar crimes where I specialize in forensic evidence. So Mr. Kinney how may I help you?”  
  
“His name is Justin Taylor; anything you can do for him would be greatly appreciated. He is in Allegheny County jail for murder charges against him. Anything you can do to get him released I will pay whatever the cost.”  
  
“Yes Mr. Kinney I will head down to the jail right now to meet with Mr. Taylor, I will see what the charges are against him and I will do everything in my power to make sure he gets bail. I will contact you on this number after I reviewed his case.”  
  
I hang up for I have nothing else to say to her, I know my next call will not go as easily as the one to the lawyer. I have to call Debbie’s boyfriend and I am hoping that there will be no problems in what I am going to ask him.  
  
After 3 rings Debbie’s boyfriend answer the phone with a wide awake ring to his tone. “Detective Horvath how may I help you?”  
  
“Yes Detective Horvath this is Brian Kinney, one of Debbie’s boys. I need a favor, one that I will do anything to repay.” I am praying that he will say yes, I am also thinking of the wonderful ways I can begin to repay him.  
  
“Yes Mr. Kinney I know who you are. What kind of favor do you need, if it is about a parking ticket you will have to handle that on your own for I am a homicide detective not a parking maid.”  
  
It is laughable to think that I would call at 5:27am to take care of a parking violation. “I know your department arrested a Justin Taylor tonight for murder. I need to see him. I am begging you for any amount of time you can give me.”  
  
I can hear the sounds of the keyboard as his fingers are flying across I assume that he is bringing up Justin’s file.  
  
“Mr. Kinney, it is not as simple as one would think, I cannot just get you in. If I am able to bring you in to speak with him it will be a on the record conversation.”  
  
“I don’t care if you broadcast on the national news I just need a few minutes to make sure he is okay and to tell him that I am handling everything.”  
  
There is a long pause before he speaks again. “Alright Brian get down to the jail as quick as possible I can probably get you 15 minutes but that is it.”  
  
“Fine tell me where you want me to meet you and I am there.”  
  
“Meet me in the front of the jail; I will be out there in about 10 minutes. I will see you when you get there.” I hang up the phone and I throw on the first pair of jeans and shirt I can find not caring what I look like. I don’t care about anything other then seeing Justin.  
  
I make record time to the jail and in less then 15 minutes I am standing in the front. I spot Carl quick enough and soon we were walking through the belly of the jail.  
  
We go through the back door, the police entrance, and he is soon telling me some basic information. “Alright Brian the only reason why they are allowing this is they are hoping for an on the record confession from Mr. Taylor.  
  
Also another heads up Mr. Taylor is not in good condition, before he was processed he spent two hours at the hospital. He has numerous wounds that cover his whole body and they are extremely brutal to witness. From what we can see from his injuries Mr. Gold was abusive and not just on one occasion.”  
  
I am completely lost for words I am afraid of what Justin had to endure. We stop at the door before we enter the interview room. “There is a lot of blood on him. We have not had a chance to give him anything else to wear yet.”  
  
“Is it all his blood or is it Ethan’s.” He has a grim look on his face.  
  
“The reports say when they came to Mr. Gold’s apartment Mr. Taylor he was naked. The officer grabbed some clothing for Mr. Taylor to wear assuming that reason he was covered in blood was from killing Mr. Gold.  
  
They had Mr. Taylor dressed but it was when he was in the back seat of the cop car, they realized it was coming from Mr. Taylor’s body. That is when they took him to the hospital.  
  
Mr. Taylor has extensive bruising, three broken ribs, burns covering all locations on his body, and his chest is covered with massive amounts of fresh cuts that only happened minutes before Mr. Taylor took Mr. Gold’s life.  
  
I am only telling you this because it is a horrible sight. In all my years that I have been a detective I have never seen abuse to this extent. Prepare for this for it is something that you will never forget.”  
  
I am terrified at what I will see, to witness my Justin in that condition only one year after holding him in my arms as he was slowly dying. I just nod my and we walk through the door and I behold the horrific sight of the man I would give my life for.  
  
Justin has two black eyes covering almost his whole face and both ends of his mouth have huge splits. Both of his cheeks have gigantic cuts with a deep yellow brown coloring around them, meaning the abuse did not only happen tonight.  
  
As my eyes make there way down I am witness to his neck and the hand prints that are wrapped around his throat. It scares me to think that Ethan had the opportunity to murder my beautiful Justin.  
  
Justin’s baby blue shirt is soaked through and through with blood. Since he is sitting down I cannot tell if he has any other wounds on his body. From what I can see he is covered in blood and the worst thought is, it is his own.  
  
There is more blood on him then on prom night, hell I don’t think I have ever so much blood on one person at any time. My eyes are drawn to his bare arms they are covered with bruises and they are scattered with cigarette burns, I can spot those any where as Jack made sure I had a few of my own.  
  
“I appreciate this Carl; I will owe you and Debbie for this. Anything you just tell me and it is yours.” I assume the sound of my voice triggers him to look up. When I see his eyes I can see the pure terror and pain, and it hurts my heart.  
  
“We will let you know if there is anything you can do for us later Brian. You 15 minutes start right now. Use your time wisely Kinney and I will let you no when it is up.”  
  
I walk to where Justin is sitting and he just looks at me with disbelief. “Are you really here Brian, I am not dreaming again?”  



	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
Brian P.O.V.  
  
“Yes Justin I am here and I will not be leaving your side ever again. I only have a few minutes with you so lets not waste a second...” I resist the urge to hug him or even touch him. I remember after Jack would enjoy beating the living shit out of me I wouldn’t want anyone to come near me for a very long time.  
  
“Sonny Boy can I hug or are you hurt too much?” Justin doesn’t say a word; he just stands up, gingerly, and walks over to stand in front of me. He swiftly wraps his arms around my neck and squeezes my body closely against his own.  
  
“Brian I never thought I was going to see you again. He was going to kill me if I didn’t do something.” His body started to shake in my arms I once again resisted hugging him tighter, I remember the words that Carl said to me about Justin’s wounds.  
  
“Justin just don’t say anything about what happened. Just let me tell you that there is nothing that you did that requires my forgiveness. I will get you out of here as soon as possible.”  
  
He starts to cry and I can feel the tears on my neck, I suddenly feel the need to kill Ethan myself. “Brian I kept dreaming that one day you would hold me again. Tell me that this is real, my body is so numb, and I can’t feel the pain anymore.”  
  
I feel horrible that he cannot tell the difference between reality and a dream. “Yes Justin this is real, how long have you been in pain? How long did he do this to you?”  
  
In a small voice he answers my question. “Ever since the last time I saw you, after you punched Michael I knew I made a mistake being with Ethan. Brian I only want you, I have only wanted you ever since the first night.  
  
“I tried to leave him but after I finished packing my stuff up and I was walking out the door he hit me over the head. He kept hitting me and knocking me out with something that was in a syringe, I don’t know what it was. It has felt like forever but I do not know how long it has really been.”  
  
Justin has been suffering for 6 weeks, he went through all of that intense abuse and he thought of me. I am infuriated that none of us took the time to try to find him none of us tried to even see if he was okay. What kind of friends are we to never have looked for him once.  
  
“Justin that was 6 weeks ago have you been trapped by him for this whole time?”  
  
He just nods against my shoulder and I cannot stop myself as the realization strikes me. If I was only strong enough to have said the words of what I truly felt for Justin he would not have had to have suffered. If I was only man enough to have verbalized everything maybe we would not be here right now. I refuse to make that mistake ever again.  
  
“Justin I am so sorry it is you who should forgive me. If only I was strong enough to have said what I really feel maybe you would never have left. I will not make that mistake again. I love you Justin, I have always loved you and it scared me to me to death.  
  
“I fell for you the first night I met you. Please forgive me for not saying it until now. I will make everything up to you even if it takes a lifetime.”  
  
“This has to be a dream...Every time his friends or Ethan would hurt me I dreamed of hearing those words come from your mouth. Brian I am so damaged now you couldn’t possibly love me now. If only I saw how he was before maybe I would never of...”  
  
I couldn’t take him blaming himself anymore it was making me insane with rage for the fiddler. I grip his face into between my hands and stare him in the eyes. “That is enough of that Justin this is not your fault trust me anyone who is sick like that you can never blame yourself for it. I never did with Jack and I will not allow you to think that way Justin.”  
  
He just stares at me and I have no idea what is going on behind those blue eyes anymore, they are so different now. “I finally remembered it Brian. I finally remember our dance our kiss in front of everyone, thank you Brian for that memory. That is where my mind would...oh god Brian I killed him.”  
  
“Justin don’t say another word about it. They want you to confess to me that is why they allowed me to talk to you.”  
  
The door bust open and two detective walk in. “Alright girls your time is up. Mr. Taylor your lawyer is here. You Mr. Kinney can go home now.”  
  
Justin clung to me even harder to my body refusing to let go. “I’ll do anything you want please I need more time with Brian, I am begging you.”  
  
“Don’t do anything stupid, Justin. Listen to Sally, she’s your lawyer that I hired, if she tells you to do something then do it but not before. I have to leave but as I said before I will do everything in my power to get you out of here. I’ll do anything to make sure you never suffer again no matter what it cost.”  
  
He unwrapped his arms and just looked at me like we would never see each other again. “Don’t worry Sonny Boy we will get through this, together, I love you so much Justin.”  
  
His next words broke my heart. “Good bye Brian, I never stopped nor will I ever stop loving you.”  
  
I was lead out of the interview room without a chance to say anything back. What hurt me so much is we never have ever said good bye to each other not even when his confession on my doorstep with Mr. George good fuck was inside. Saying good bye was always so final and I never wanted anything to ever be final between us.  
  
When I am finally out of the room I see Sally looking as if it isn’t 6:23 in the morning. “Brian I got the hospital records more then likely he will be released in a couple hours. This is an open and shut case of self defense and with the piss poor way they handle Chris Hobbs case the judge will probably be lenient. Keep your phone close his arraignment is scheduled for 8:30. I am putting Justin as my first priority and nothing will stop me from making sure nothing more will ever happen to Mr. Taylor again.”  
  
I have no words, hell I can’t even think. I simply nod my head and walk out the door. As if my body is not listening to my mind I walk out of the jail and to my car. I don’t even remember driving home the only thing I can recall is opening the front door to my building.  
  
As I walk up the steps I think about how I am no better then any of the gang. If only I called Justin those times I thought of him maybe the situation would have been different. Maybe Justin could have found away to answer the phone and get away or maybe by him not answering over and over again would have signaled me to something being wrong, probably not but I could have tried.  
  
When I finally reached my door I have decided things are going to be different in my life. No more tricking, no more acting like I don’t care when I really do. I have decided that it is okay in life to have regrets because I do and it is the biggest one of all. I regret not buying him those flowers; I regret all the times I made him cry just to make sure I didn’t feel too much. I especially regret waiting to tell him all the things I have felt over and over again.  
  
When I am at the top step I can see that my front door is wide open. I know I was in a rush to get to the jail but I remember I at least locked the door. I know right away this is not going to be good. When I enter my loft everyone is there waiting for me.  
  
Debbie, Michael, Ben, Emmett, Ted, Lindsey, Melanie, Daphne, and Jennifer are all waiting for my arrival each with a different look upon there face. Debbie is the first one who tears into me. “You are out getting your cock sucked when Sunshine is arrested for murder; well what do you have to say for yourself?”  



	4. Chapter 4

  
Author's notes: okay this is  a short one a longer one is coming next and it is in Justin P.O.V.  it will explain the abuse and some other gripping details.  that you for all the reviews i love them so much and i will respond back almost as soon as i get them!!!   


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Chapter 4  
  
Brian P.O.V.  
  
“First off to everybody I was not off getting my dick sucked, I have been getting a lawyer going and seeing Justin and trying to figure out how me and him are going to get through this.”  
  
Michael was the next one to speak and for some reason I don’t see why he even feels the need to saying anything he never even liked Justin. “Why the fuck didn’t you call to tell us what was happening to Justin. We had to see it on the news and not be able to hear it from our friend. Well answer me Brian what do you have to say for yourself?”  
  
I take a deep breathe for I know at any moment I am going to flip on the family and this is just the beginning of a really long day.  
  
“It is real simple Justin didn’t want me telling any of you what happened, he begged me not to call you guys. Justin had no idea that he would be the headliner of the news and I have no intention of telling him such things. I am going to get ready to go to his arraignment and if by chance I can get him out of there we will be coming back here and I do not want to see a single one of you is that completely understood? He will contact you when he is ready.”  
  
Jennifer just looked at me with a tear streaked face. “Brian when they showed him getting out of the cop car and going into the jail, he was covered in blood was it all Ethan’s? All those bruises on his body did Ethan do that to Justin?”  
  
“Yes Jen, Ethan did all that to Justin and they are worse then you could see. None of the blood on Justin was Ethan’s it was all his own every single fucking drop of it.”  
  
Everyone gasped at the thought that Justin was in that much pain. Daphne, always the best friend, spoke next. “I don’t understand Brian every time I called Justin never mentioned anything like this to me.” That was the snapping point for me and I just unloaded on all of them.  
  
“Did any of you bother to see him, not just talking on the phone but physically see him. Christ he has chain marks on wrists signaling that he has been chained down for god knows how long. Justin said he has been trapped by Ethan since the last time I saw him, 6 fucking weeks everyone 6 weeks and nothing none of us cared. He has so many bruises and burns; I have never seen so many in my whole life. What Ethan did to Justin makes what jack did to me on a daily basis look like a fucking pussy cat?”  
  
Everyone was just gasping as my rant continued. “At least I had a fucking reason not to look for him, but I still was concerned in my own way. After all that Justin has had to go through you fucking assholes are to concerned about why he didn’t call you and not that Justin was almost choked to death to night and what you are so fucking selfish that he trusted me more then any of you, and it irks the shit out you doesn’t it.  
  
“Well get over it he for some fucked up reason loves me and god I don’t know when but I love him, so I am going to go be the good person that Justin has always believed me to be and get dressed and stand by his side you guys get the fuck out and leave us the fuck alone until either I call you or he does, am I understood?”  
  
Everyone walked out of my loft not saying another words just simply leaving and nothing more. I am scared that I actually just told the gang that I love Justin but I could care less right now. All I know is I need to look good for myself and well I guess Justin, I think he might need a suit as well, I know he has something here. I change quickly and grab his suit and I am out the door.  
  
  
I call Sally and check to see what is happening. “Sally this is Brian what is going on?”  
  
“Well Mr. Kinney just to let you know will we be putting all of Justin’s assault on record and I just want to prepare you it will be difficult today. Also if you have any kind of suit for Mr. Taylor to wear that would be good. I will meet you at the court house in 15 minutes bring the suit and I will try to get a couple minutes so you can spend them with Justin.”  



	5. Chapter 5

  
Author's notes: Alright here is what happened the night Justin kills Ethan. It deals with Rape and Sexual Violence, and for some could be found extremely disturbing. There will be other chapter that deal with this same subject but for right now this is just a dose of what Justin had to deal with. I really appreciate all the reviews so far and i hope you enjoy this newest installment.  


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Chapter 5  
  
Justin P.O.V.  
  
It feels like a dream as if the past six weeks happened to someone else, as I sit here an explain everything to Sally. I cannot believe all those things that happened to my body and Ethan did all of it to me.  
  
“Alright Justin just tell me what happened the night you killed Mr. Gold and leave out no detail.”  
  
Flashback to 12 hours prior  
  
“Justin once again you don’t want to listen to me. I would have thought you would have learned your lesson by now. Why do you want me to hurt you?”  
  
I was chained down when I signaled that I had to use the restroom. When I was in there I tried to make an escape by climbing through the window, I noticed that Ethan had forgotten to lock the window. I was lying on the ground and he was continuing kicking my chest over and over again.  
  
“Do I need to teach how to be a good boy again and keep you collared?” Another swift kick to my chest but this time I heard a crack. “Where would you go Justin? Well, who would want a whore like you?”  
  
I know I shouldn’t of but I could not help myself as the words came right out. “Brian would.” Sheer rage glossed over Ethan’s eyes when I said those words.  
  
The next thing I felt was Ethan’s fist connecting with my eye. I could hear Ethan’s menacing laugh all around me as if he can not control it.  
  
“That’s right I forgot that you are his precious little faggot. Well Justin I think it is time to let the whole world know that you are his whore.”  
  
As Ethan tries to grab me I flinch away from his touch. I can barely stand, in between the throbbing in my chest and the soaring pain in my face, it doesn’t help that Ethan has not given me anything to eat in 2 day.  
  
“It hurts me so much to do this to you Justin I love you so much but you refuse to let him go. I’ll make you learn that no one will ever love you like I do.”  
  
He picks me up and tosses me on the bed. “Now be the good boy that I know you are and get me hard. Remember what happened the last time you even scrapped my cock with your teeth. I will knock your fucking teeth in if you hurt my dick.”  
  
What scares me the most is I know he will do it. On one instance I accidentally grazed his cock with my teeth and he felt the need to knock out two of my molars. There has not been a single time since then that my teeth even get near his dick, I would rather have my own lips get battered then lose any more teeth to his fist.  
  
I slowly open my mouth and he shoves his into my throat. I used to love sucking cock, well one in particular but I know I will probably never get to see Brian beautiful appendage again. I don’t know if I will ever be able to even look at cock without thinking about Ethan’s disgusting body.  
  
He is thrusting fast in my throat and I can feel the bile rising up. “That is a good bitch I want you to suck me harder.” He grabs the back of my head and holds his dick in the back of throat as he unloads himself, disgusting me even further.  
  
I can’t help myself as the tears come pouring down my cheek. Only 6 months ago I was the happiest person in the world and today I am getting face rapped as Ethan continues his fucking of my throat.  
  
“Are you crying, poor little Justin doesn’t know how to handle a real man. Well if you continue to cry I must give you something to cry about.”  
  
Once again he hits me on my face and I can feel my skin breaking underneath the force. The blood is running down my face and I can feel it mixing with my tears.  
  
“You are my good boy aren’t you Justin. You don’t need any prep huh just my cock in your tight ass.”  
  
I know he said that before but every time he says it scares the living hell out of me. The pain is unbearable whenever he does this to my body and I pray that one day this will be all over.  
  
He lifts my legs and shoves himself all the way in one thrust. The pain shoots throughout my whole body as nothing made his way a smoother trip in. If only he used something hell I would be happy if he just used a little bit of spit something to help me but why would he do that, I am just thankful he still uses condoms.  
  
When he does such things to my body my mind wanders to happier thoughts mainly the happiest time in my life, my times with Brian. I can see his beautiful face looking lovingly down at mine asking Daphne if he can borrow her date. I know tonight’s dream will be our dance.  
  
I don’t know if I have ever seen a more beautiful sight then Brian’s smiling face, especially knowing that I did it. The bright white contrasting with his tailor made Armani tux was a sight to behold. I was flabbergasted to see everyone part on the dance floor to allow our passage.  
  
In my dreams every step is slowed down and I can see every millimeter of our bodies in sync with the beat of the song. I knew in my mind’s eye things changed between us that night.  
  
I can hear him whispering in my ear about how he can’t wait to have me spread out on his bed so he can rim for hours. That is when I slyly removed his coat off his shoulders.  
  
It was funny to me that Daphne was in the perfect place for me to toss his coat to her. For some reason my dream does not follow it is normal path, it does not allow me to enjoy our kiss on the dance floor nor our kiss in the garage.  
  
For some reason tonight my dream fast forward to Brian screaming my name. Normally it goes dark from there but tonight my mind wants me to hear his screams. For some reason my mind felt the need to hear Brian in pain screaming for me to wake up, felt the need to hear him scream at god for allowing this to happen.  
  
I hear it so clearly his suffering. “No, No, NO, NO....God, Justin please wake up. God not to him, not Justin.”  
  
Tonight I can feel his tear on me and I really wonder if he cried over me. I am woken up to more pain then I have ever felt in my life. More pain then taking Chris Hobb’s bat to the skull. My eyes open to feel fire burning through out my chest and I do not know what to do.  
  
“Oh you are finally awake, good. Now I can have my work appraised by a true artist. Tell me what you think Justin?”  
  
My chest is screaming for mercy as I see the knife in his hand. Oh god what did Ethan do this time to my body.  
  
“Now everyone will have to question it at all, it is written clearly for all eyes to see, you are Kinney’s Whore.”  
  
I look down at my chest and I can see my crimson blood starting to pool on my chest. In big 2” letter I can clearly se the word ‘Kinney’s’ and I can only imagine it says whore underneath it.  
  
I cannot control my stomach as I empty all the bile on his bed. “You worthless slut dirtying my sheets.”  
  
A swift back hand to my face and the only thing I can do is laugh at him. I am in hysterics as I just keep laughing at how pitiful he really is.  
  
“You have the nerve to laugh at me you piece of garbage.”  
  
He sets the knife down on the night stand and stares me down. I laugh even harder thinking about how I fell for his lame ass bullshit. As if my body has a mind of its own I spit in his face seeing my logy roll down his face.  
  
Big mistake but I could care less. In between him putting cigarettes out on my ass to spell his name and now carving Brian’s name into my body, I have had enough.  
  
He wraps his hands around my throat and begins to squeeze. The look in his eyes is one I will never forget. I knew tonight was different then all the other times he has choked me.  
  
Tonight he was not going to stop after I am knocked out; he is going to kill me. I refuse to be a victim again, my body has had enough torment and I was not going to take anymore.  
  
I remembered where he set the knife and I reach out and I can feel the cold steel in my finger tips. As if my mind is on auto pilot I thrust the knife into his right side, hoping it will get him to stop.  
  
“You fucking piece of shit, you think that is going to stop me.”  
  
His grip tightens my on my neck and my flight or flight mentality kicks. I pull out the knife and shove it back in him making sure I don’t stop until the hilt of the knife is in alignment with his skin.  
  
“You fucking whore I will kill you.” He is shouting at the top of his lungs as I once again stab him again.  
  
Blood is starting to drip from his mouth and onto my face. His grip on my neck is starting to loosen as well as I thrust the blade into Ethan’s body once again.  
  
There is a loud banging on the door and it doesn’t stop Ethan assault on my neck. “Pittsburgh Police Department, open the door now or we will have to kick it in.”  
  
For some reason their voices trigger Ethan to start squeezing tighter then before. I can start to see stars behind my eyes and I am starting to lose consciousness.  
  
I can see Brian’s handsome smirking face and I know I will do anything to be able to see it again. “This is your last warning Mr. Gold we will kick it in.”  
  
Before I completely black out I shove the blade back in one more time. I know I did not get the depth that I wanted but I was praying it would stop him even if for a few minutes.  
  
The door is knocked down and although I can’t see them, I hear voices of 4 men gasping and call for an ambulance. I have no idea if Ethan is dead or not but I feel his body lift off of mine and relief finally sets in.  
  
In the interview room  
  
“Sally that is the last thing I really remember after hearing the cops’ voices the next thing I remember is hearing Brian and well I just assumed I had died.”  
  
Sally just looked at me with horror on her face as she was digesting everything I had just told her. “Well, Justin I am confident that we have a great case on self defense and if we have to I am sure that the D.A. will have a deal for you since it is unheard of self defense cases now a days. Before your arraignment Brian is bringing you some clothes to change into and I will leave you boys alone for a few minutes. I am sorry you had to suffer this way Justin I really am.”  
  
She left the interview room and I am left with my thoughts. Did Brian really come here tonight and tell me he loved or was that just the pain medication? I hope it was real so that maybe one good thing could have come from all of this. But how will Brian want me when he sees what Ethan has done to my body.  



	6. Chapter 6

  
Author's notes: alright so this chapter took a completely different turn of events but here it is. it is also a whole lot longer then i expected but i hope you all enjoy. also if you like michael you wont like brian nice long almost 800 word speech to him. i know it is OOC but everything about this story really is so don't hate me for it.  


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Chapter 6  
  
Brian P.O.V.  
  
  
Right now I cannot even look at my family they just disgust me. The fucking thought that I would be out getting my dick at a time like this. Hell I haven’t even been to Babylon in at least a week. I guess in their minds if Brian isn’t around then he is getting sucked or fucked.  
  
I wish they would not think of me so poorly but they figure they see what they want and not what is really going on. All the things I have done for this family and they still treat me like garbage just like my real family.  
  
The only one out of all of them who even have a right to treat me like a piece of shit is Justin but he is a bigger person then all of them put together. Hell even if I was out getting sucked or fucked how I would know what happened to Justin its not like I would have the news on.  
  
I grab the first suit I can find out of my closet not caring if I have worn it recently in the past week or not. Next is getting a tie and shirt once again my sense of style is thrown out the window I could care less about any of that I just want to get to Justin.  
  
I rummage through my closet to see if Justin happen to leave anything what so ever at my loft but I can already say that he hasn’t. I try to think of what I could do and there is only one likely solution left for me.  
  
I know Jennifer would not be home yet so she is out of my options plan. Knowing Justin he more then likely left some clothing at Debbie’s just in case we had a fight and well case he and the fiddler had a fight, unfortunately he never got a chance.  
  
Seeing Debbie right now wouldn’t be a good situation for the both of us. I feel such rage for her, she knows me better then anyone and yet she cannot even begin to understand anything. I wish she would take a chance and stop judging me for all the crazy sex I have had in my life and my asshole personality to realize all the things I have ever done for everyone not just money but my support. Maybe that is why they all expected me to be out tricking and not at home at the early morning hours.  
  
I could go out and buy him something but the only stores that are open are the Big Q and the only sell cheap wranglers and flannel and that is not worthy of a court appearance. The stores that are worth anything open at 8am and I want to spend some time with Justin before he has to go before the judge.  
  
That leaves me with only one option that I can think of and that is to go to the fiddler’s apartment. I call Carl to let him know that I will be going to the scene to the scene of the crime. I don’t know if it will still be taped off considering the crime happened 5 hours ago. I have to try to get something for Justin to where other then a jumpsuit and definitely not his bloody clothing he was wearing when I saw him last.  
  
I see my cell sitting on the counter; I guess I must have left at home when I rushed out the door. My screen is showing that I have 39 missed calls, when I scroll through I see that Debbie called me 17 Mikey called me 16 and Jennifer called me 6. Well maybe that would explain why they thought I was out tricking but their attitude was unacceptable.  
  
I quickly dial Carl’s phone number and he answers on the second ring. “Brian how may I help you?” I am shocked that he knew my voice; I assume he heard my hesitation and seemed to answer my question right away. “Caller I.D. Brian you called my cell phone and I programmed your number, so what is going on?”  
  
“Carl I need to get something for Justin to wear to the arraignment. Unfortunately I am having some issues with Debbie and I cannot get a hold of Jennifer, Justin’s mom, she won’t be in time for me to get anything from her.  
  
“I need to go to Ethan’s apartment to get his clothing. Justin needs something other then a jumpsuit and definitely something not covered in his own blood. Can you make it possible for me?”  
  
“Yeah they are still working the scene but as long as they are allowed to search you and whatever you chose to bring for him I do not see where that would be a problem. Just make sure to bring your I.D. with you and I will let the officer’s know you will be on your way.” Carl’s voice is warm and I am appreciative of everything he has done today for me and Justin.  
  
“Thank you Carl, I once again am in your debt for all of this. If there is anything I can do ever just let me know I don’t care what it is.”  
  
I am already out the door and I am running down my stairs taking them as quickly as I can. By the time I am out the door and headed to the jeep I can see Mikey standing by the driver’s side door. My mind starts racing at what he could possibly want and how long has he been standing here waiting for me. I am only concerned about one thing, seeing Justin is my top priority and nothing else matters.  
  
“Yes Mikey what can I do for you and it better be fucking important if it isn’t I really have to go.”  
  
“I don’t understand Brian why are you helping him? After everything he has done to you, how can you just jump to help him again. Christ Brian he is a fucking murder and he is just using you...”  
  
“Michael so help me if you dare to say one more word against Justin I will hurt you so bad it will make what I did at Lindsey’s and Melanie’s anniversary seem like child’s play. You don’t know anything about him Michael and you definitely don’t know anything about our relationship and you still don’t, so don’t overstep your bounds as my supposed best friend because you are out of place right now. I do not have time to play the poor Mikey show I have to go and see him so if you are finished...”  
  
“He killed someone Brian, how can you admit that you love a murder. Why would you love him when you could love and have I?”  
  
I am flabbergasted that he would even think those thoughts. It takes all my will power not to knock the shit out of him but I know I have more pressing things to do right now. I chose right now to end Mikey’s little infatuation with me, end it now before it gets even worse. I hate to do it but he only responds to me pushing him harshly so now what I am going to do is going to make his 30th birthday party seem like nothing.  
  
“Michael why the fuck would I want you? I mean just look at you. You are whiny, obsessive, obnoxious, hairy, and the ugliest person I have ever met. Not your looks make you ugly but your personality makes you the most horrible person I have ever met.  
  
“Do you know why I have never gone for blondes until I met Justin, Michael? I have always dreamt of the man I would spend the rest of my life with as him, my dream man would be everything I am not. Blonde hair, blue eyes, small frame, and everything that Justin is, he is my dream man. I have never wanted anything more in my life then the person Justin is, do you know why Michael why I would love him and not you?  
  
“Because he is everything you aren’t. Justin does love me for the image I portray; he loves the man I really am. Fuck, Michael you have a partner who loves you I mean really loves you even with your little love crush you have on me. Ben would do anything for you and that is exactly what I am going to do for Justin.  
  
“Justin and him cheating on me is my fault everything about was all me. I was the one who told him to trick, he didn’t want to he said I would always be enough for him. I knew I couldn’t so I pushed all of his limits to make him leave for I was afraid of where we were going. He didn’t have a choice I was making his life a living hell and I forced him to leave me.  
  
“I was the one who never gave him a chance, because I knew I fell for him the very first night I met him under that lamppost. I was afraid of everything he stands for; youth, beauty, innocence, creativity, energy, and an unadulterated love for me only.  
  
“I even told him the first night I loved him. So yes I will jump through hoops for him because I finally realized what I truly feel. I mean Christ Michael he has almost died twice in only two years; I will do anything to make sure whatever amount of time we have it will be together.  
  
“You didn’t see what Ethan did to him, you didn’t see the hand prints wrapped around his throat nor did you see the burns scarring his once flawless skin, don’t speak about what you don’t know and that is everything about Justin. You never once spent any time getting to know him you simply used Justin and what he had to suffer with rage just to make a quick buck; do you know how hard that was for him?  
“I will not tell you who to love and you don’t have a right to tell me.  
  
“Now if you are done with your petty bullshit I am going to go see and you can go and do whatever the fuck you want to and when you finally chose to grow up and get over you 15 year whatever you feel for me, then I will speak with you but for now I am done. Done with all of it, I am not playing this game any more if you are still waiting for me to jerk you off it will never happen. We are through with this!”  
  
When I am finally finished my rant Michael has tears running down his face and honestly I do not care at this point. I have had enough of the people telling me what to do and what I should not have done, ending this infatuation with Michael was long over due and I feel bad that I had to do such a thing but I only care about righting the wrongs I have done with Justin.  
  
How can helping Justin be considered by anyone that is a bad thing. Other then him defending himself against a sadistic fuck what did he ever do to anybody. Now he does have an evil side to him but not in a bad way, when he wants to he can be a sexual deviant and I love it. That will probably be different but I do not care I just want my Sunshine in my life I do not care how vanilla our relationship become.  
  
“How can you be so cold Brian, how could you have said those things to me? After everything we have been through together you would throw it all away for a blonde piece of ass? Don’t I mean anything to you?”  
  
I cannot believe I am actually wasting my time having this conversation right now but I will end it quickly. “Yes Michael we have gone through a lot together but you are living in our past. I need to move on and grow up, I am 31 and I need to be thinking about my future and right now that is with Justin. Right now I am wasting my time spending it with you when I need to be by his side.  
  
“Also that blonde boy ass I would do anything for it because he my everything. He doesn’t roll over for my bullshit where you always do. Look I am grateful for our friendship only, nothing more and it will never be anything more. As I said I need to go so get out of my way and when you think we can be adults about everything call me but until then, good bye Michael.”  
  
I walk past him and get into the jeep ignoring his protest. I peel out and head towards the fiddler’s apartment. I found it odd that Carl did not ask me if I knew where Ethan lived, of course I would never tell anyone that I did an extensive background check on him and unfortunately did not see anything the would lead me to believe that he was capable of something like this.  
  
I pull up to his ratty building and I try my best to prepare me for what I am going to see. I walk up the 7 flights of stairs, considering the lame building doesn’t even have an elevator. When I turn the corner I see 4 cops blocking the door to Ethan’s apartment.  
  
Before I have a chance to get to close the cops stop me. “Can I help you sir, you are about to walk in our crime scene. If you have no business here I recommend you turn around.”  
  
I pull out my I.D. before I answer that way it is already. “Yes detective Horvath has given me permission to get something Mr. Justin Taylor to wear to his arraignment. My name is Brian Kinney.” I hand over my I.D. and they simply look over it before handing it back.  
  
“Mr. Kinney I am sure that Detective Horvath told you we will have to search you before and after going in the apartment.”  
  
“That is fine I just want to get him a nice shirt and nice pair of pants for him. Do whatever you need to put could we move everything along.” One of the cops come over and gives me a quick pat down before I am allowed into Justin’s hell.  
  
When the door opens I am witness to a horrific sight. Not only is Ethan’s apartment a dive but I can see all the things Justin had to suffer through the past 6 weeks. The bed has thick chains on each corner, there are ball gags and wipes and crops scattered everywhere.  
  
What disturbs me the me the most is I can smell the distinct smell of vomit and I assume it is Justin’s. On the bed I can make out a blank spot on the bed where I once again assume that is where Justin must have laid.  
  
Some of the crime scene guys give a look and I try to answer there question. “If you have Okayed the closet I am here to pick something for Mr. Taylor to wear.”  
  
They just shrug towards the closet and continue what they are doing. I grab a simple white under shirt and a black v-neck sweater I bought him before we broke up, I find the first pair of pants that are not khakis and I feel that we are set. Hopefully that will do because Justin really doesn’t have anything other then that. The rest of the things in the closet are grimy and I know Justin would never wear anything like that.  
  
“Hey guys is this okay I mean have you checked all of this for clues or whatever?”  
  
These guys are definitely not what you see on TV. As they just nod their heads and I make my way back to the front door. As I am about to exit I notice on the counter top a handful of vials and even more syringes. Did Ethan put drug in my Justin’s body knowing he is allergic to everything including Tylenol?  
  
As I open the door the cops just give me a look and I already know what I have to do. I hand the clothes to one cop as another pat me down. A minute later I am out the door making my way to the jeep.  
  
Once I am buckled up and 5 minutes out of the court house I call Sally. “Well what do you think is going to happen Mrs. Frick and please let it be good news?”  
  
“It looks really good Mr. Kinney I can almost guarantee that Justin will get bail and with his injuries may even release him on his own with out bail. How much longer until you get here? I will be going in to see him in about 10 minutes and it will be good if you are with me because then you will be able to go in and see him.”  
  
“I will be pulling in about 2 minutes, if that. I know you can’t get into details but did Justin suffer badly these past 6 weeks?”  
  
“As you know Mr. Kinney even though you are paying my fees client attorney privilege goes to him and not you, but I will say he is doing better now. He is coherent of his surroundings unlike before. Like I said Justin has a very good case and it will be easy enough to make it a winning case for us. I will meet you out in front; you should be pulling in if I am correct on my timing.”  
  
“I am pulling in right now. I’ll se you in a few seconds.” I get out of the jeep, clothes draped over my arm and I hustle my way up to the front door.  
  
“Oh good you were able to get something else for Justin to wear. Let’s head in and waste no more time. Just to let you I will speak with Justin first and then you will be allowed in the room, alright Brian?”  
  
I just nod my head and we proceed through security and make our way through the maze of halls. After a couple minutes we stop in front of a door way and Sally points to a seat.  
  
I sit in my designated spot and I wait as she enters the room. As I am waiting I am thinking everything that has happen in the past 12 hours.  
  
I went from missing Justin desperately. Then finding out that he has been held prisoner and then murder by Ethan gold. Top it all off with my proclamation of love to our family and to Justin. Now I wait to find out whether or not he will get bail or will be remanded.  
  
Why is it once again I am sitting in the most uncomfortable chair waiting to see if Justin is okay, and it was only one year ago to the date.  
  



	7. Chapter 7

  
Author's notes: alright sorry about the hold up i got hooked on reading for a couple days and i was actually busy, go figure. here is justin going to his arraignment hope you enjoy   


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Chapter 7  
  
Justin P.O.V.  
  
  
As I am sitting in this horribly bland room I try to recall everything that I did tonight. Did I really call Brian? Did he come and see me in the jail? Did he really tell me that he loved me?  
  
That is the big question did Brian Fucking Kinney admit that he loved me or was it just the drugs that were in my body. Unfortunately I know that the morphine and other fun pain medicine are leaving my body and the pain is setting in me.  
  
My chest hurts so much I can feel each letter Ethan carved into to me throbbing. My ribs are screaming to be together again and the throbbing of each bruise and burn on my body are driving me mad with pain.  
  
I hear Sally walk in and I just look at her. Everything has happened so quickly I am still having a hard time distorting dream from reality.  
  
“Alright Justin like I mentioned earlier you are going to go before the judge and plead not guilty. After that you and I will be meeting with the D.A. to strike up a deal for you. Before all of that though there is someone who wants to see you they have been waiting a while so I am going to let them in.”  
  
“If it is my mother or anyone other then Brian Kinney I don’t want to see them. That is the only person I want to see right now.”  
  
“Well you are in luck Sonny Boy because here I am.”  
  
I cannot control myself as I leap out of the chair and into his waiting arms. The pain I feel shoot through my body doesn’t matter when I feel the comforting embrace that only Brian possess.  
  
“Brian I do not know what to say other then thank you. Thank you for being home and thank you for accepting my call I will pay for the charges and for the lawyer.”  
  
He simply squeezes his arms around me a little bit tighter and everything that matters is gone. The first time in two months I feel the one thing I have been yearning for, SAFE.  
  
“I would do anything for you Sonny Boy so let’s not worry about things to come and let’s worry about what is here. I would do anything for you anything at all you just have to ask me. Things are going to be different this time around. I will not be letting you go so easily ever again. Justin I need you to look at me.”  
  
I release my arms from the spot I lodged them on his neck. I stare into his heavenly hazel eyes and I only see concern and joy to see me. I am glad that did not change between us. I know deep down that things are going to be okay from here out just because he can still look at me that way.  
  
“I meant what I said earlier Justin. I love you and I don’t care about anything other then treating you better and making everything up to you. I need you to get through this because I want to wake up everyday and have you with me. I need you to be able to survive this because I cannot without you in my life.”  
  
I do not know what exactly happens but the next thing I know I am pressing my lips against his. It doesn’t take but a second before our tongues are colliding against each other. Every doubt I have ever had in life are gone because Brian Kinney loves me and I am in his arms again.  
  
I can feel his hand sliding up y back and I hold back the wince from the pain, I know when Brian sees what Ethan did to me he will want to kill him all over again but for here and now I only care about his fingers that are now running through my hair. I can almost forget that we are in a courthouse and I have murder charges pending against me but for right now I have Brian.  
  
His other hand lowers to my ass, not doing anything more then resting against it. I have always thought that it was a security blanket for him because any time anything gets hectic hand to my ass almost right away. Everything was just perfect until I remember that Ethan had branded his name there, a way of claiming no matter where I go or what I do, Ethan Gold will always be there.  
  
I pull away from our kiss and I absolutely hate it, Brian has a look of sheer lust and love on his face and I hate to destroy our moment of reconnecting but he needs to know. “Brian Ethan did things to my body and I am marked everywhere. I don’t think you will ever be able to see past what he did to me since I am now completely damaged and it will probably sicken you to see them.”  
  
He just looks at me like he is waiting for more of an explanation but I do not want to explain the injuries now I want to wait because at this moment I am not strong enough. I am saved from all need to explain when sally comes through the door.  
  
“Okay boys, I need Justin to change his clothes and Brian you can go ahead and head down to the court room, it is number 4. We are getting called in 10 minutes.”  
  
I didn’t want him leave but I can feel his grip loosening and I just hope I will be able to feel this again one day. “Alright Sonny Boy I will see you in the court room. I love you and I will get you out of here as soon as possible.”  
  
“I love you too Brian. Thank you again for all of this.” His face leans down and captures my lips once again for a short, dare I say it, love filled kiss. Before the kiss has a chance to advance to a more passionate filled kiss we can hear sally clearing her throat to let us know that is time to go.  
  
With a quick ‘later’ Brian is out the door and I feel a sense of maybe everything will be okay.  
  
“You know Justin you are one lucky son of a gun. Brian is absolutely gorgeous and from what I can see madly in love with you.”  
  
“I am just lucky to have ever met him.”  
  
She hands me a pile of clothing and I recognize them from Ethan’s apartment and I am wondering where the hell sally had got them from.  
  
“Brian went to Ethan’s apartment and got them for you. He wanted something else for you to wear and he said strips make you look fat.”  
  
I nod my head and tenderly begin to remove the jail house jumpsuit. They had given it to me to wear when I was transported from the jail house to the court house. Although I am now ashamed of my body and did not want Brian to see I am thankful Sally sent him away.  
  
********************************************************************************************************************  
  
I am sitting here cuffed and waiting to go into the court room to face the judge. I am nervous but I know Brian will be there and I will get another chance to see him again, I have to be strong for him; he said he needed me to be strong.  
  
I can hear my name getting called and I stand to wait for an officer to come and get me and lead me into the room. Once I make my way through a small hall I stand beside Sally. I can feel Brian’s presence behind me giving me all of his strength. He would do that, I do not know how to explain but after the bashing he would just make me feel unstoppable when I really wanted to break down and cry.  
  
“Justin Eric Taylor, how do you plea to the first count of murder one against you?”  
  
“Not guilty your honor.”  
  
“If it pleases the state you honor we ask that Mr. Taylor be released with either reasonable or no bail at all.” I look over to the prosecutor and I could have sworn me and Brian have had him in a threesome before.  
  
“That is fine with the state your honor, a low bail would be understandable in this case.”  
  
The judge looks down at his papers before speaking again. “Mr. Taylor your bail is set at $20,000 cash or bond, next case.”  
  
I look at sally and she just nods her head. I then turn to look at Brian and I see him stand and walk out of the court room, although he doesn’t need to be there anymore I still wonder where he could be going.  
  
The bailiff removes me from the courtroom and is now taking me to a holding cell. I wonder if Brian is going to get me out $20,000 is a lot of money and I can not ask him to spend that kind of cash but I guess when I am going to go spend 20 to life it really doesn’t seem like that much.  
  
I am not even in the cell long enough to sit down when a guard comes and unlocks my door. “Well that by far is the quickest release I have ever seen. Taylor your bail has been paid, we just need to transfer you back to the jail and then you can be released from there. Come on Taylor move it you are going home.”  
  
I can not believe it is happening so quickly but I am so excited. One good thing about getting arrested naked is there is nothing to process out so when I finally do get to the jail I will be out soon.  
  
****************************************************************************************************************  
  
After a 30 minutes drive I am sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair watching judge Judy as they are processing my paper work.  
  
I think over how I even got into this position and I wonder why bad shit seems to follow Brian and me. I know some of the pain we did to ourselves but talk about a fuck load of drama and craziness.  
  
I hope Brian has respected my wishes and not contacted everyone and I hope I don’t have to see them right away. I can only think about taking a long hot shower and try erasing Ethan from my body. After that going to sleep for days if not months forgetting every horrible thing I have done and gone through.  
  
“Mr. Taylor you are cleared Officer Garcia will take you out of here.” I see a big burly guard and he helps me stand up, he is gentle when he releases my cuffs and leads me through two big steel doors.  
  
“Just follow the yellow line and you are home free.”  
  
What heavenly words he spoke and I am practically running down that yellow line. When I get to last door I hear an intercom voice. “I hope everything works out for you Mr. Taylor you do not belong here.” I then hear a buzzer and I push open the door.  
  
I am a free man, for now.  



	8. Chapter 8

  
Author's notes: Alright here is another chapter with brian telling out the family... the next cahpter we will get into what happened to justin in a little bit more detail.  i hope you all in enjoy  


* * *

Chapter 8  
  
Brian P.O.V.  
  
I am shocked that his bail is only $20,000 hell I can pay that in cash no problem what so ever, I do not even care about something as petty as money. As they are leading Justin out I stand and I start the process of getting my Justin out.  
  
The first bail bondsmen I called just happened to be at the jail already. They told me if I had the jeep title and $2,000 I could get him out but fuck it getting the title means I would have to go home and I do not have time for that. I tell them I will met them at the jail in thirty minutes, all I have to do is stop at the first PNC bank I find and I am there.  
  
I found a PNC on the way to the jail. I run inside and grab $22,000. I know Justin does not have any clothes and unless he wants to wear my clothes, which I could careless now, he will need to go shopping.  
  
I pull into the jail house parking lot and I can see a Dog the bounty hunter standing in front of the door. It is sad really they should have executed anyone that loves the mullet, it is just bad. “Mr. Kinney I presume?”  
  
“Yeah that is me here is the money I want Mr. Taylor now I do not have the patience to wait all fucking day. If you can get him released in under an hour there will be $500 in it for you personally.”  
  
He just nods his heads greedily and walks into the jail and now I am stuck waiting for the man I love. Sitting in the jeep I have time to think about it and I realize that I have been waiting my whole worthless life to met Justin and now I would continue to wait for a lifetime if I needed to. I just wish that it didn’t take all of this to happen to make me realize the truth.  
  
I walk back to the jeep and pull it around so that it is the first thing Justin will see when he walks out. As I am waiting I flip the radio on and I am floored at what I hear. How fitting for them to play the Drifters they never play the song but on the anniversary of Justin’s bashing they just feel the need to all of a sudden.  
  
I remember that Justin told me in the jail that he finally remembered our dance, it only took a year but he finally remembered. Now he knows that night was different between us and if everything had gone as planned I would have more then likely confessed everything to him then.  
  
Justin getting hurt that night I realize that him being with me would only cause him more pain then away from me. Hell that is the reason why I never told him the truth but I after today and realizing that people feel the need to cause Justin pain I will make sure that will never happen again as long as I am around.  
  
I wonder sometimes what would have happened between Justin and me if he came home to the loft and not gone back in with Daphne. Would I of had the balls to admit that I would love him for the rest of his life no matter what I am just not good at it. Would I have allowed myself to be loved by him and show me how to love?  
  
My patience is wearing thin as the song is goes into the last chorus. I am glad that Justin will not have to hear the song; I mean I could have changed the station but every time I hear the song I remember how happy we were even if it was only for three minutes.  
  
That night I knew I was fully exposed to Justin, I did not want my walls up when I was with him anymore. I wanted him to see that the past months we had spent together were the happiest moments in my life and by giving him his prom was a way for me to repay him back. Fucking Hobbs had to destroy that for us, I swear if I ever see that piece of shit ever again I can not be held responsible for what I might do to him.  
  
For some reason any time anything starts to get going good between Justin and myself some bull shit has to happen and destroy all of it. Maybe our relationship is cursed but I could careless right now because I am going to change our doomed fate, at any cost, even if it means breaking every rule I have ever thought of.  
  
My thoughts are interrupted when I can hear the buzzer on the door the bail bondsmen went through 20 minutes earlier. I can see his blonde hair poke out the door and I can feel the butterflies in my tummy, I have never been more nervous in my life.  
  
I can hear my cell ringing and I really do not want to answer it but when I pull it out and see the id I know I have to. “Yeah Sally, what can I do for you?”  
  
“Bri I just heard you were able to get Justin released so quickly that is great. Since you were able to get him out right away I have had his meeting with the D.A. pushed to later on to later on today. His meeting is now at 4:30 instead of 11:45 I wanted it as late as possible that way Justin can get some rest. He needs to relax and you could use some to, so forget everything and enjoy each other until like 4 you need to be at the court house by 4:15 at the latest.”  
  
“Fine I’ll see then. I got to go.” I flip the phone closed and look back up to see Justin. He is smiling his famous sunshine smile and I wonder when the last time he smiled was. He walks up and climbs into the jeep.  
  
“Told you I would get you out as soon as possible.” I can feel his hand on my cheek. “I never doubted it for a second. Thank you so much for everything. Who were you on the phone with?”  
  
“It was Sally saying we need to go to the D.A.’s office at 4:30 and to enjoy ourselves until that time.”  
  
“Good I was hoping that it wasn’t Debbie or my mom or anyone else from liberty. I don’t want to see them or talk to them; at least until after I talk to the D.A.”  
  
I lean forward and press my lips against his for a short sweet kiss. “I know I wouldn’t do that to you but I can’t guarantee that they won’t be at the loft. If they are we will just go somewhere else. I don’t want you to have to stress any more then necessary.”  
  
He gives me a peck on the cheek and then he speaks. “Take me home Brian.”  
  
  
The drive to the loft is in silence and I could careless if he wanted to talk a million miles a minute. I am just elated that he is sitting next to me. I pull the jeep into my parking lot and I can see Melanie’s and Ted’s car already there. I swear sometimes our family cannot understand simple request and are honestly handicapped.  
  
“Bri I really don’t want to see them please take me some where else.”  
  
“Sure any where you want to go I am just going to stop at store real quick and then we will check into a hotel.”  
  
“Why do we have to go to a store Brian I just want to go to sleep and forget everything that has happened today?”  
  
“Well unless you want to sleep either naked or fully dress we will need to buy you something to wear. We also need shampoo and body wash unless you want to use the cheap stuff the hotel will have.”  
  
I can see he is hesitant about the whole situation but there really is no other option.  
  
“Can’t you make them go away Brian? I want to stay here, I feel safe here. I feel safe with you, in your bed with your sheets your security. I just want that back Brian please, I need that back.”  
  
Christ, Justin is on the brink of tears and I cannot have that ever to happen again. Think, Brian, think. What can I do to make everything okay for him again?  
  
“Alright Justin calm down I will get rid of them so you can feel safe in our bed and in our home. I will make sure as long as I am around you will always feel safe.”  
  
“Our bed and our home Brian? Do you mean it?”  
  
“Yes Justin it is ours, it isn’t the same without you there beside me. I want your there always no more sleeping at Daphne’s or Debbie’s you will be with me... that is if you want to.”  
  
His whole face lights up, so I have 2 sunshine smiles in 30 minutes, doing pretty good so far.  
  
“Okay so I am going to park the jeep a couple of blocks away and walk back to the loft, kick everybody out and then I will come and get you, will that be alright with you?”  
  
“Yes Bri that would be perfect. Thank you so much for doing this, I really...”  
  
“That is enough of that Justin you don’t have to thank me for everything. I want to do this, it is the least I can do considering what I did to you. We will not get into that right now though, we will talk about it later I promise but now I have to kick our loving family out of our home.”  
  
I peel out and find a nice parking spot off the beaten path. “So I assume you don’t have a cell phone anymore so here is mine. If I am taking to long or you just need me just call me no matter what, alright?”  
  
He nods his head and I bounce out of the jeep. I can feel the things I am going to say boiling in my head already. Why do all of them have to stick there noses in where it doesn’t belong. If we wanted their opinions we would have asked for them but no not the liberty family they just always have to get in the way.  
  
I surprise myself as I am walking in my building. I guess my mind racing helped me to walk faster but that doesn’t matter any more. I walk into my elevator and I take the slow ascent up to my floor, I need the time to calm down or else I may freak on our family.  
  
I walk up to my door but when I try to pull it open I find that my door is locked, so much for the cool down period I had. I am fucking enraged that those fucking cock sucker and cunt lickers have the nerve to lock my door when they are in there and I am not. None of those sons of bitches know how to respect a locked door especially mine so why are they locking it now.  
  
I start to pound on the door, since my keys are in the jeep with Justin. After a few more seconds I can feel the rage side of me coming out. BANG BANG BANG. Still nothing.  
  
“Open my fucking door you Nelly Cunts!” That of course gets my door to slide open.  
  
I look at them and I do not know where to begin. So I will start off the top. They all look so pathetic to me right now and I have had enough. “For starters I want everyone’s key now!”  
  
They begin to open their mouths before I continue on. “No talking this is my turn. Why are you guys here? Huh? To support Justin? Well if Justin wanted your fucking support he would have called you. The only thing Justin wants is to feel safe and you imposing yourselves here is not how to that.  
  
“He just wants to go to sleep until we have to go to the D.A.’s office and then after that maybe he might want to see you. Right now you are forcing me to do the one thing I never want to do again and that is to leave Justin’s side.”  
  
They are all just staring at me like I grew a set of tits. I am pissed that none of them have even move they are just there the fucking morons.  
  
“I said give me your key, all them. None of you realize what constitutes what an emergency there fore you do not need a key. Don’t bother giving me any excuses because I don’t care.”  
  
I look over the group and I notice that there are a few that are not there and I am thankful for them. Jen, Ben, Daphne and Emmett are all not there and I am happy that some of them know how to respect Justin’s wishes. Oh no not the rest of the family Debbie, Ted, Lindsey, Melanie, Vic, and hell even Michael is back.  
  
“At least we are here to show him that we care that we have always have cared unlike you. We just want to let him know we are here for him, by his side supporting him. You don’t have to bite our heads off I mean hell we care unlike you.”  
  
I cannot believe Lindsey just said that to me, why they don’t ever listen to me. I never open up and the one time I admit to them that I care about Justin none of them listen to a word that I have to say.  
  
“I do not care why you are all here the only thing I know is Justin is sitting in my jeep alone when he wants to be here with me and all of you are messing that up for him. So I repeat myself, Michael, Lindsey and Debbie I would like my key back and all of you can leave, please I need you all to go.”  
  
Deb finally seemed to understand as she pulls out her keys and removes mine from her whole lot. She walks over and hands it to me. She gives me a peck on the cheek and whispers into my ear. “Just tell him we care and we are all sorry for not respecting his wishes. Now go and get your man.”  
  
Although I am pissed at everyone what see says to me calms me down. “Thank you Debbie.” Deb glares at Vic and he follows her out the door. I can hear my phone ringing before I have a chance to unload on the rest of them.  
  
“By the time I am off the phone I expect all of you to be gone and my key on the counter.” I run to go and answer the phone.  
  
“Kinney here.”  
  
“Brian I need you please.”  
  
“I am coming right now Justin they will be gone by the time that we come Sonny Boy, I will be there in 5 minutes. I love you and I will see you in just a few minutes.”  
  
“I love you too Brian, just please hurry.” I can hear him crying and I know I have fucked up, wasting too much time with the family. “Don’t cry sunshine I will be there in 4 1/2 minutes, I will see you then.”  
  
I turn around and they are still there and I swear they were all dropped on the head as children. “I said leave, hell I do not even know why you are still here. At least Justin’s friends and family had enough respect for him not to come. Christ I am not doing this anymore. Justin is a mess because I have been gone fro so long so I am leaving. If you are still here when I get back I am calling the cops and pressing charges against all of you and I will not drop them.”  
  
I walk out the door and I am running to Justin. The sound of his voice scared me. I wonder if Justin will ever be back to himself or if I have lost Justin for good after this.  
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

  
Author's notes:

alright so first i have a shout out for my new found and absolutely wonderful beta and idea helper, Sarahrei. she has been such a help for me with quick beta and also great inside look on what i plan for this story. sorry about the really slow update on this chapter but i will have the next chapter up before the end of the week. without further ado i hope you all enjoy and thank you for all of the reviews.

 

Becca 

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Chapter 9  
Brian P.O.V.  
  
I reach the car and I can see his whole body shaking. I am afraid of what is really going on with Justin, is he having a seizure or something worse. I open the car door and he just looks at me with red, puffy eyes.  
  
“I thought you weren’t coming back Brian. Oh god I need you so much.”  
  
I hate that Ethan did this to my cocky, stubborn, and confident Justin. I loathe the fiddler for treating him the way that he did.  
  
I wrap my arms around Justin and he holds on to me like a lifeline. He is sobbing against my neck as I rub slow circles on his lower back.  
  
“It is okay Justin. I am never leaving you again. I am right here for you no matter what. You have to let go so I can take us home. Once we get home then we will go to sleep and forget about everything.”  
  
He nods his head and lets me go. As I walk around to the driver’s side I see Ted’s car and I can look directly into Michael’s eyes. I guess they followed me and parked once they saw the car. I don’t care just as long as Justin doesn’t see them, which is the only thing that matters.  
  
I start the jeep up and I reach over and grab his hand. I just need to feel the connection with him. As soon as our fingers interlace he lays his head on my shoulder.  
  
I pull out onto Tremont and I can still see Ted and Michael parked across the way. Why does Michael have this obsession with me and now this hate towards Justin, I know Theodore is only following Michael’s instruction.  
  
I pull into my parking spot and look back. I am thankful to see that they did not follow me. “We are here Justin.”  
  
He barely picks his head up to look at me. He just seems so weak in comparison to the man he once was and I know will be again.  
  
I hop out the jeep and Justin follows behind me as I open my front door. We walk over to the elevator in silence. I really do not know what to say; I never thought I would ever have Justin standing by my side ever again.  
  
The trip to my floor seems to take forever and my mind is all over the place about what is going on in his head. Once the elevator stops I lead Justin into the loft.  
  
I can hear him sigh with relief to finally be away from it all. “Why don’t you take a hot shower, and I will get you something comfy to wear. I’ll set the alarm for us and we will take a nice long nap and then we will go to the D.A.’s, alright?”  
  
Justin just nods his head and walks into our bathroom. Once I hear the shower turn on I go about undressing and putting on my favorite joggers. I then continue my search for Justin’s favorite black sweat pants and one of my wife beaters  
  
He was always stealing my sweats and wife beaters. He says they smell like me; no matter how many times I wash them he says he can still smell me. It is one of my secret fetishes about him, seeing Justin wearing my clothing, it makes him seem so... small and hot.  
  
I knock on the bathroom door to let him know I am coming in. “I am just going to set some clothes on the counter for you to wear. I won’t look at anything until you want me to.”  
  
I can hear him say ‘okay’ and I enter into the bathroom. I keep telling myself not to look, but the second I see wads of bloody gauze in the trash my instinct not to turn and look I see Justin just for a second.  
  
I feel sick to my stomach as I see for only just a brief moment the backside of his body. It is covered in fresh lashes on his back and some scabbed over wounds. I turn to look away for I said I would wait but out of the corner of my eye I can see his name on Justin’s left cheek.  
  
‘Ethan’ spelt out by cigarette burns and the rage in me is over whelming. How could a person do that to another human being? What could Justin have ever done to Ethan to warrant that kind of torment to Justin’s beautiful body? I must have been staring at him because I hear Justin yell at me.  
  
“Brian you said you would not look! Why did you lie to me?”  
  
He is breaking down so quickly and I feel like an asshole for doing it to him. Fuck! Why did I have to look! I turn around to explain myself and that is when I see it... ‘Kinney’s Whore’ in big thick gashes across his chest.  
  
I cannot stop as I walk into the shower and I gather a breaking down Justin into my arms. Ethan did this to him because of me. The only thing Justin ever did wrong was love me.  
  
“Justin I am so... sorry... I tried not to look... I saw blood and I... I am so sorry this is entirely my fault... Christ what did I do to you? I will fix this Justin I will make them go away. Please forgive me for letting him do this to you.”  
  
In the past 10 years I have only cried 2 times and now I am on my third. I am glad the shower is on so he cannot see my tears. I cry for wasting time and I cry for ever letting him go.  
  
I feel his hand on my cheek so now we are looking directly into each other’s eyes.  
  
“Brian we can’t change what has happened only what we can do with our future. I don’t blame you for this, I can not blame anyone but the person who did this to me, and that is Ethan. The only thing I need from you Brian is to keep caring about me...does this change how you look at me, am I too ugly now since I am no longer flawless?”  
  
How can he think he is ugly, fuck, I could never think that about him. I do not understand how he can be so strong considering everything that he has been through the past 6 weeks.  
  
“Justin you are the most beautiful man I have ever met inside and out. I didn’t fall in love with you for appearances. I fell in love with the person you are and how you make me a better person.  
  
“I do not just care about you; I love you and nothing Ethan ever did could ever make me change my mind. I just wish I could be half the man you are. Just please don’t build the walls like I did, please let me love you like you did for me, unconditionally.”  
  
Before I have a chance to continue I feel him wrap his arms around my neck and he begins to kiss me. I know in my soul I am complete when his lips are against my own. I can feel his velvet tongue enter into my mouth and I know he is what dreams are made of.  
  
Our kiss is innocent just a way of connecting with each other. There is no dueling for dominance just away for us to confirm our love for each other. I am afraid to touch him now that I have seen what he has been through. I don’t want to cause him anymore pain than necessary.  
  
As if Justin is reading my mind he grabs my hand and places it on his hip. For some reason the shower has always brought out something for us. We have always been more truthful when we are in the shower as if the water will wash away all of the walls, lies and deception.  
  
Justin becomes more aggressive in our kiss as he is now searching every crevice, every millimeter of my mouth. He has an absolutely magical tongue. He can do things with it I have never felt before.  
  
Justin pulls away from our kiss and says, “Brian help me forget him, help me forget his touch, his everything. Help me erase Ethan from my memory. I want to tell you what happened, but first, we need to get out of the shower.”  
  
We step out of the shower and I peel off my soaking wet joggers. I grab the towel and I start to gently pat him down, making sure to take extra care around his chest and back. As I pat him down I take the opportunity to look him over to see every mark Ethan left on his body.  
  
He knows what I am doing but he still allows me. I really wish Justin did not have the chance to kill Ethan as my blood is boiling and I want to slice his fucking throat.  
  
I would love to be able to reverse time and remove what Ethan did to him, but I know I will have to move past this and hope that we will be okay when it is over.  
  
I must have been lost in my thoughts because I am rocked into reality when I hear Justin speak. “Bri I am dry enough, so stop looking at what Ethan did, okay?”  
  
I stand up and toss the towel into the hamper. I grab the other and begin to dry myself off. Justin is slipping on the sweats and I can see every finger mark on his thighs and hips.  
  
I know I have left bruises on him before, but I hope I have never done anything like that to him. God, if I have ever I do not know what I would do with myself.  
  
I see Justin walk out of the bathroom and I follow right behind him. Justin neglects to put on a shirt, which I find odd. But I guess since I have seen what Ethan carved no point in hiding it.  
  
Justin goes out and sits on the sofa waiting for me to join him. I grab the first pair of 501’s I find and slide them on, leaving the top button undone, of course. I know that Justin gets a hard-on by that look, so why not keep him happy.  
  
I pad my way down, into living room and he pats on the sofa to join him. Once I sit down he pats on his lap and I place my head comfortably there. Now this is normally Justin’s place, his head in my lap, but if this is what Justin would like than I am more then happy to oblige.  
  
I feel his fingers in my damp hair and it is comforting to feel his nimble touch on my scalp.  
  
“Alright, when I start to tell you what happened I do not want I single interruption. When I am finished you can rant and rave then, but not a moment before, can you handle that Bri?”  
  



	10. Chapter 10

  
Author's notes:

Alright so once again I really sucked about updating but i had a problem with the power cord to my lap top. I had to order one since the local best buy did not have one in stock. I am half way through the next chapter so I will have it up sooner. 

I have to give so much credit to much beta and helpful reader Sarahrei, she is absolutely amazing. I thank all that have reviewed and have enjoyed my story so far.   


 

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Chapter 10  
  
Justin P.O.V.  
  
The day of Mel and Lindsey’s anniversary, I over heard what Michael had said about me. To say that I was disgusted by it is an understatement. I loved the fact that even though we were broken up you still defended me.  
  
When I saw you slug Mikey in honor of my name I knew that moment actions from you meant more to me than any of the romantic bullshit Ethan said to me. I knew that second I had made the biggest mistake in my whole life and I had to change that.  
  
I knew that you truly loved me and I was going to do everything in my power to try to get you back. I was going to have to work hard to get you to forgive me for the lies, the deceit, and the pain I caused you but I was not going to stop until you were back in my life.  
  
After they threw you out of the party I told Ethan I was also ready to go for I had my fill of the family; I did not want to deal with them anymore. The truth of the matter was I did not want to look at Michael considering I finally got to hear the truth from him.  
  
I know Michael and I never really got along over the past couple years but I had always wished for your sake that one day we would get along. That night I felt true hate for Michael and I will never forgive him for what he said about me.  
  
I know that you care about Michael so over the past two years I have never told you about the things he has said to me. When you finally knocked him down I felt that maybe you and I were finally on the same level and were finally ready to move past the dependent bullshit that is Michael Novonty.  
  
I know it is a silly thought but that is how I felt at that moment in time.  
  
So we go back to Ethan’s apartment and I grab my duffel bag and I start to pack. He asks me “where the fuck do you think your going?” I try to explain to him that we were a mistake and that I was leaving him.  
  
He kept going on and on about how our destiny is intertwined with each other’s and we were each other soul mates. He kept saying that deep down I was truly in love with him and that it only takes time to realize it. I tried telling him that leaving you was the biggest mistake in my life and I was going to do everything I could to make it up to you.  
  
He would not stop with the bullshit. He went on and on about everything all the stupid things he has ever said to me. How I would never get those things from you.  
  
I laughed at him and told him that words meant nothing in the big picture...that in my life I wanted the truth not some sugar coated bullshit. I grabbed my bag and set it by the door. I turned and told him that I was sorry for hurting him but my place was by your side and no one else’s.  
  
Sheer rage consumed him instantly. His eyes glossed over and he screamed that I was not going to leave him for the biggest whore in Pittsburgh. I started to laugh and I explained that you may share your body with everyone every night but I received the one thing that no one ever got and that was...your heart.  
  
Unfortunately, I did not see his fists flying before it connected with my face-right where Hobbs struck me a year prior. By the time I woke up I was stripped and tied to the bed.  
  
He told me that I was his and I was going to be with him no matter what, always. He pulled out his cock and told me to suck him off. There was nothing I could do I tried so hard to stop him. I refused him repeatedly by keeping my mouth closed as tight as I could. But then he went into the kitchen, grabbed a knife, held it to my throat and screamed at me to ‘suck’.  
  
My hands were completely bound to the bed. My legs were spread open and chained. The knife was piercing my skin. I had no choice. I had to open my mouth. He shoved his dick inside my mouth, but I just couldn’t do it. My teeth scraped his dick as he thrust inside.  
  
That is when he pulled out his dick and slugged my jaw. I could feel the blood starting to puddle in my mouth. I felt something in my mouth and I did not know what it was so I spit it out. As plain as day I saw my molar lying on the pillow covered in blood.  
  
He became even more enraged screaming that he was going to teach me a lesson. I was absolutely terrified. Suddenly, I felt his hands wrap around my neck squeezing the life right out of me. I blacked out from lack of oxygen after a few minutes of him choking me.  
  
When I woke again I was turned over and lying on my stomach. I had one of my socks shoved into my mouth with duct tape over it. I was truly terrified of what he was going to do.  
  
Nothing happened for a really long time so I assumed that he had left. I pulled as hard as I could on the ropes that held my wrist but I could tell that it was useless. After what seemed like days, Ethan returned but he had other people with him.  
  
I could hear him telling them that I was the new “bitch on the block”, and it was time to show everyone who I truly belonged to. He lifted my head and strapped on a collar and a choke chain.  
  
All of his friends were talking about how they could not wait to be inside of his “new bitch” and “all the wonderful things” they planned on doing. They kept going on and on about how they couldn’t wait for me to start squealing like a pig that I am. They were also excited about seeing my “bitch body being marked by a true master”.

That is when I felt the first strike against my back. I’m not sure what it was. The only thing I know is that it hurt like a motherfucker.  
  
I screamed my heart out trying to get someone’s attention. But since I was still gagged, it was no use. I’m not exactly sure how or who did it, but they began to burn me. I could smell my skin burning and my ass was literally on fire.  
  
They tortured me for hours. They beat and burned me; laughing the entire time. It must have excited the sick fuckers because I felt latex getting shoved inside of me. I was in hell and could hear Ethan saying, “Open the fucking whore up for us. Shove your fucking fist in my new bottom bitch.”  
  
Before that happened I always topped Ethan. I never let anyone else but you inside of me. What you told me the first night held true. No matter how drunk I would get or even stoned I still thought of you. You were always there with me no matter what happened. Every time Ethan even attempted to top me I always thought of you. My memories with you saved me; they saved my soul.  
  
I was thankful for the memories, when I felt whomever’s thumb go inside of me, I blacked out completely. That is when I finally remembered our dance. I wish it was under different circumstance but I was thankful I still remembered it. I remembered the way we sway to each beat of the song, I remembered the dip, and I especially remember everyone’s face after you kissed me.  
  
I always wondered what would have happened if Chris never attacked me. I knew things changed between us that night. I could tell that night was special because you paused before you kissed me in the garage.  
  
Of all our kisses, that was the only one you ever paused on. In my mind’s eye I replayed all the wonderful times we had spent together. That kiss, your actions, spoke to me.  
  
You were telling me you loved me. Just like you were when we made love after Gus’s first birthday and during our ice cream.  
  
Every time they raped me I focused on trying to remember another great time between us. I pictured all the different ways you fucked me on my 18th birthday. I remembered that time in the hotel in New York, how passionate and insane you were that night.  


I replayed each and every moment you and I had together over and over and over again. I was so thankful for all those happy times.  
  
The abuse I took from Ethan and his friends went on every night for weeks. He barely feed me so I did not have the strength to fight him.  
  
Any time I needed to use the restroom I had to signal to him that I need to go. First, he would punch and kick me then he would drag me into the bathroom by that fucking leash.  
  
Towards the last week he finally started to trust me that I would not run away. That is when he finally removed the collar from my neck. The first time he removed the collar I took my chance to run away.  
  
I had no clothes or money. I didn’t care; I had to escape from Ethan, his friends, that apartment…that hell.  


On the night I killed him, I knew if I didn’t escape soon, I’d die there. I couldn’t take anymore. I snapped…knowing that I had to get away from him to be able to see you again, to have you hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. I knew that I needed to see you smile and laugh. I had to see you holding Gus and looking at him with all the love in the world.   


I was so close to being free, but he caught me sneaking out. That is when he carved me up. I knew then that he was going to kill me and I had one last chance to see you again. I gathered every bit of anger, fear, and every other emotion I had and used it with the little energy I had to survive and fight back. I refused to be a victim again. I refused to be belittled like that again. These are just a few of the reasons I murdered that sick son of a bitch.  
  
Alright story time is over; you may rant and rave now Brian.   



	11. Chapter 11

  
Author's notes: UNBETA'D  


* * *

Chapter 11  
  
Brian P.O.V.  
  
I do not even know what to say as Justin tells me about has happened to him. I can only think about how the D.A’s offer better be a good fucking offer. For once in my life I have no smart ass comment, I just listen to everything that he has said all the horrific things he has had done to him.  
  
By the time he tells me it is okay to rant and rave I have nothing left for me to say. I fear what the whole situation will do to Justin. I am terrified about what will happen to us; I finally realize what Justin means to me and now I may lose him for good.  
  
I love that Justin only cares about the man I really am. Grant it I have only showed that man to Justin, I know he would not judge me for being open. Deep down I really am worried about what others would think, even though I know I shouldn’t.  
  
I can only think about how nice it would be to just hold him in my; nothing more then to know he is still alive, the feeling of his skin against my own. Neither the late hours nor the emotional drama have anything to do with the exhaustion I feel right now.  
  
I want to hold him and comfort him. I want to tell him everything will be okay and I will be there forever for him. Nothing comes from my mouth though as we sit here on our sofa.  
  
I think of all the things that I could have done to avoid this happening to Justin and it all boils down to one thing; if I never had sex with him again this all would have been avoided. Losing all the wonderful things that Justin has shown me is just not worth it though.  
  
The sheer thoughts of watching other men touching him other then myself just sets me off, I mean hell that is how he got me home for the second time. I do not know what it is about this particular blonde that is so different from the rest.  
  
I mean hell even on our designated date nights I could not stand the thought of anyone else touching or licking his body. Grant it is hot as all hell to watch him fuck random tricks but the whole foreplay concept drove me insane.  
  
There is something truly special about Justin and even at this moment I have no idea what makes him so different; especially in comparison to everyone else I have ever fucked. As I have thought I have had hundreds and thousands of orgasms under my belt and most of them are easily forgettable but I can easily remember everyone I have had with Justin.  
  
Each time my body was rocked with pleasure with him it was earth shattering. Even from the beginning I knew that Justin was different but for some reason I could not turn the 17 year old away.  
  
Justin knew how to play me right from the beginning and that scared me to the core. He knew exactly what trap to lay to get me running back into his arms. Hell I did not even know the concept of seeing the color red until I saw the trick running his hands all over Justin’s smooth perfect chest.  
  
Christ not even a week after I had him he me begging to touch him again. Justin was some how completely in tune with me; he could read me like a book. Hell I assume that is the reason he was able to play me so well.  
  
For some reason after the bashing he seemed to lose that insiders look into me. I knew after he got hurt I should have told him how I felt but for some I was terrified.  
  
I think the moment that we were all running down the hospital I was in love with him at that exact moment. I never cared for a second if Michael was still behind me but for some reason I kept looking back to make sure that Justin was still following.  
  
It was so hard playing it off that I did not care considering the first second I heard his voice I knew he was the man that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Justin Eric Taylor that is what true happiness sounds like to me.  
  
Fuck I know I cannot keep remembering the things of our past considering that we have so much weighing on our future. From what it sounds like Justin has nothing else to say so I take the offense; I stand up and grab his hand.  
  
I lead us into the bedroom and crawl into our bed. I used to love how big it was but now I cannot even look at it without seeing my blonde angel lying next to me.  
  
As soon as y head hits the pillow I open my arms inviting Justin to me. I wait to see what he does for it will all be up to him from here on out.  
  
“Of all the things I have longed for in my life this is the one thing that I missed the most. Being held in your arms is what heaven truly is...thank you Bri for not getting into what between Ethan and me. I can guarantee you will get another full account of it in just a few hours.”  
  
As soon as he says the last words I can feel his whole body relax into mine and I know he is asleep and once again I am left with my thoughts.  
  
I reach over and grab the alarm and set it up for 3:10 giving us a couple much needed hours of sleep. I know I am exhausted but for some reason sleep do not come to me.  
  
I hear my phone ringing and I quickly answer it before it has a chance to wake up Justin.  
  
“Kinney here.”  
  
“Brian its Cynthia, why aren’t you here? Gardner is freaking out your meeting with Leo Brown is in 2 hours. You better get your fine ass down here.”  
  
“Cynthia I will not be coming in for at least a week maybe longer. Did you happen to watch the news or read the paper today?”  
  
“No Brian why, what’s going on? Why the fuck are you whispering?”  
  
“Justin got into some trouble and I need to be here for him, it holds priority over anything else. There are murder charges and I need to help him get them dropped. Reschedule everything for a non determined date. If Vance has a problem with it tell him to contact me personally and I will deal with it. I will love telling him to personally fuck off myself. Look I have been up for over 36 hours I am going to sleep before we have to go to the D.A.’s. Thanks for your help Cynthia.”  
  
I hang up the phone and before I know it I am out like a light.  



	12. Chapter 12

  
Author's notes:

Alright i am so sorry about taking so long to update but my wonderfully new puppy felt my power cord to my lap top was his new chew toy. i will be updating sooner so please be on the look out. 

 

GO OBAMA 

* * *

Chapter 12  
  
Brian P.O.V.  
  
Sleep is such a beautiful thing; it is a place where anything can happen. I dream of Justin and I on the beach sipping silly fruit cocktails. I will have to take him on a vacation before the situation gets any worse for us.  
  
I hear my alarm going off and it is horrible because I am not quite finished dreaming of the man I love running down the beach half naked. I grumble to myself about not sleeping enough until I look down and I see his beautiful blonde hair.  
  
He truly looks angelic when he sleeps; I discovered that I have a desire to watch him sleep after the bashing. I was always worried that he would wake up from a nightmare so I tried to always be prepared for one to come.  
  
Before I met Justin I used to love fucking brunettes but there is something special about this small framed blonde that drives me insane with lust and love.  
  
“Rise and Shine Sunshine, we have people and places to go.”  
  
I can feel his head lift off my chest and I can feel a puddle of drool where his mouth once was. Normally that would be the most disgusting thing I have ever felt but today I am just thankful that he is here to do it.  
  
“Brian, my chest fucking hurts, do I still have my pain medicine here?”  
  
When Justin left and packed up his things, I loved that he left a whole pile of his things behind. If he left things then that would mean he would have to come back and get them. Between his medicine, computer and a couple of sketch books he would have had to come here at least three times because I know I sure as hell was not going to tell about everything else.  
  
“Yeah they are still here I’ll go and grab them do you want juice or water to take them with?”  
  
“Just some water would be great, thanks.”  
  
“Why don’t you throw some clothes on Justin and wear one of my shirts if you don’t feel like wearing one of your own. So today we are going to the D.A. and if you feel like it afterward we could go shopping.”  
  
I walk into our bedroom with the meds and water in tow. Justin is crawling out of bed and I once again see what Ethan did to my baby.  
  
I am thinking of all the things that we need to do and it is a huge fucking to do list. First we need to go to the D.A. then shopping then I need to cal a plastic surgeon and set up an appointment.  
  
I am pondering over the things we need to do when I feel his arms wrap around my waist. The heat from his breath on my back is intoxicating and I absolutely love that he is here with me.  
  
“What are you thinking about Brian?”  
  
“Just how grateful I am that you are here with me. I don’t know what I would have done if he took you away from me.”  
  
“You would have survived and been a huge fucking success like always. Hopefully you would have let your walls down long enough to be loved and in the end you would have been okay.”  
  
I turn around with his arms still wrapped around me. I lift his chin up with my finger and I look into the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.  
  
“I would not have been okay Justin. I know my heart belongs to you. Without you in my life I would have just merely gone through the motions of living and never really enjoyed a moment. I would have just been passing the time until I would be with you again. You are the only man I will ever love. Who else could put up with my bullshit?”  
  
He stands on his toes and presses his lips against my own. I do not know how I have survived this long without him and I do not want to waste another minute without him ever again.  
  
Our lips part and I know we will continue this later and I cannot wait. “Shit Bri we have to hurry up we have to be there in like 45 minutes.”  
  
I know he is right but I still don’t want to ever let go of him. I go into the bathroom and tussled my hair a bit. I know I look like hell but who cares when I have Justin and that is the only thing that matters.  
  
I walk into the bedroom to see him finishing getting dressed, god I want him so much. I grab my suit out of the closet and toss it on as quickly as you can a $2,000 Boss suit.  
  
His eyebrow quirks as he sees what I wearing. “Are you trying to show me up Brian?”  
  
“No just want to look good for you. Don’t you like my new suit?”  
  
“Yes just a little too much I just want to rip it off of you.”  
  
“We do that later right now we should go.”  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
We pull into the court house and I am nervous as hell. I wonder what the D.A. is going to do; hopefully it is a reasonable offer so Justin will not have to go through a nasty trial. As we are walking hand and hand through the building and we spot Sally right away.  
  
“Well hello boys did you guys get any rest at all?”  
  
I am still shocked at the WASP that is inside of Justin even after all that Justin has gone through tonight.  
  
“Yes Mrs. Frick we were able to get a few hours of sleep, not quite enough though.”  
  
“We’ll follow me guys and we will get this over as quickly as possible that way you guys can go and get some more sleep.”  
  
I can feel Justin clinging onto my arm tighter then he has ever before, even tighter then after the bashing. I spot the D.A. first and I know me and Justin have fucked him already, which is no good.  
  
“Hello Sally, I take it this is Justin Taylor? Why don’t we go into my office and get this under way.”  
  
“Sure Clark, this is Brian Kinney he will be joining us as well, if there is no problem.”  
  
“Unfortunately Sally there is a problem; if we are going to trial we fully plan on calling Mr. Kinney to the stand so he will not be allowed in.”  
  
I cannot believe this dickless motherfucker has the god damn nerve to call me as a witness; what the fuck could I possibly have to say that could help the prosecution. I have to get him off Justin’s case and I have to do it fast.  
  
“Fine Clark lets go in already...Brian if you could wait we will be out shortly.”  
  
The D.A. opens the door and I see Justin look at me with pleading eyes. God damn it I should be in there with him. I know Sally and I will have to have an extremely long conversation about this ‘Clark’ and the wild threesome Justin and I had with him.  
  
I sit down with huff considering there is nothing I can do about it right now. Once the door is shut I pull out my cell and call Cynthia, the biggest saint in the world.  
  
“Mr. Kinney’s office, how may I help you?”  
  
“Cynthia I need you to find me a plastic surgeon for Justin. I do not care about cost I want the best one in this state. Set up the appointment for tomorrow. Did Gardner give you any trouble for me not being there?”  
  
“Yeah he did but when I told him that you were with a good friend, Justin Taylor he shut up quickly. I guess he watched the news. I do have a feeling that you will be getting a phone call from him later on.”  
  
“That is fine Cynthia just get me an appointment and I will talk to you later.”  
  
I snap my phone shut and now I wait. I fucking hate waiting for anything; it doesn’t take long before I hear my cell phone start to ring.  
  
“Kinney.”  
  
“Brian its Vance.” God I hate his fucking accent it drives me insane, he is absolutely obnoxious.  
  
“I just spoke with Cynthia, about how long do you think you will be gone for? I mean could you work on some accounts, I mean this office needs you.”  
  
“Vance there is no telling how long I will be out for. My place is by my partner’s side and I do not mean you. Once I can get the situation with Justin some what under control; maybe then I might be able to take on some accounts and work from home. So plan on me doing nothing for at least two weeks.”  
  
“Brian that is a really long time with no warning. We really need you here I mean there are account that will only work with you only. What do you want me to tell them?”  
  
“I don’t care figure it out for your self. Besides I have a month’s worth of vacation time so I am using it now. So deal with it now, I have to go.”  
  
I can hear the door open behind me and I can see Justin is in tears. I want to murder that stupid D.A. but it is counterproductive for both of us; especially to have murder charges.  
  
I slid the phone back into my pocket. As soon as I stand up Justin is hugging me tightly. I give a look between Sally and this reject ‘Clark’; I can feel that the meeting did not go well.  
  
“Justin why don’t you go to the car I need to talk to Sally for a moment.” He just nods his head and grabs my keys from my pocket. I can see Justin is upset but I know I have to talk to Sally about the D.A. first.  
  
I can barely remember that night me and Justin fucked him but some things were quite clear.  
  
We saw him on the dance floor and Justin instantly hard for him. He looked completely different in his club clothes then he does right now but I know for a fact that we fucked him.  
  
I approached him and he quickly agreed to come back to the loft with us. After a short trip to the loft we were quickly inside our home and attacking his body. It isn’t that we fucked Clark but he was witness to us eating some ecstasy, snorting some special k and after we fucked the hell out of him smoked a couple joints. Not somebody you want prosecuting you.  
  
“What is going on Brian, you know I can’t tell you anything that happened in there.”  
  
“Sally you have to get rid of the D.A. he cannot prosecute. We both fucked him, he also witnessed some drug usage, and they way we dismissed him, lets just say he was not a happy camper.”  
  
“Alright Brian I will see what I can do. I will file the motions before I leave here tonight. I will get him off of Justin’s case and hopefully get a women to prosecute him, that way we know that you guys have not had sex with them.”  
  
“How is Justin doing? I mean was the meeting successful or not?”  
  
“You know Bri I can not disclose that information but I will say that he will need you today you will have to be there for him.”  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
I see Justin just sitting in the Jeep with a blank look upon his face. I am worried but I figure I will just have to wait and see what happens.  
  
“Brian I need gauze and bandage wraps. My ribs are killing me and I just want to get out of here.”  
  
“Sure I will head over to CVS and I will get you whatever you would like.”  
  
“I was wondering if afterwards you could call everybody and tell them to meet us at Woody’s I really need a drink.”  
  
“Shouldn’t you eat something first, I mean drinking and your pain meds on an empty stomach is probably not the best idea.”  
  
“Bri do not tell me what to do; besides I can always eat at Woody’s. I want something greasy and the diner is just too upbeat right now.”  
  
“Your wish is my command.”  
  
We drive the rest of the way to the store in silence and I want to scream at Justin to tell me what happened in the office but I assume he will explain it all later on tonight.  
  
When we pull into the parking lot I chose to speak up first. “Is there anyone you don’t want me to call?”  
  
“No just a hold of everyone; what I have to say I only want to do it once so we might as well do it all at once.”  
  
I reach into my wallet and I grab whatever amount of bills I do not care. “Here is some money buy whatever you would like I do not care if you need more just let me know.”  
  
Justin hops out of the jeeps not forgetting to place a quick kiss on my lips. God I love him and I know I will for the rest of my life.  
  



	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13  
  
Justin P.O.V.  
  
I look at the couple hundred dollars Brian handed me and I just am grateful that I had met him all those years ago. For once I am elated that Brian does not make a big deal about spending $300 plus dollars at a CVS.   
  
I run into the CVS and just take a minute to get my bearings for it has been a while since I have be in any store like this. I need so much I do not even know where to begin. I have absolutely nothing; no clothes, no job, no money, and now no future.  
  
I grab a shopping cart and I walk down the very last aisle so I can begin my pile. I grab a few bags of my favorite Wise chips ‘Salt and Vinegar’, Brian hates them but I can never get enough. I attempt to grab a two liter of Mountain Dew and there is no way I can even lift something so simple. At the very end of the aisle I see my favorite section; cookies and hostess’s. I am yearning for mass amounts of sugar in my system soon.   


On the next aisle I see a bunch of disposable cameras and I know I need a few of those as well. By the time I finally hit the first aid section I already had a half full cart and now it will be to the brink.  
  
I have to buy all sorts of items the list is just going to go crazy. 15 packages of the biggest gauze, 9 packages of Neosporin, 4 huge ice packs, and 6 Ace Wraps. Hopefully that will be able to cover me up for awhile, for at least a week.  
  
When I hit the register the girl behind the register is just looking at me dumbfounded. I wonder why for a moment until I see the Pittsburgh Gazette. There is my face next to Ethan’s with big bold letters ‘Abused Teen Slays Lover’.  
  
Well that explains why she is looking at me that way. “What?” I know it comes out nastier then I meant it but at this point I don’t give a fuck.  
  
“Sorry I didn’t mean to stare... I mean... sorry... is there anything else you needed today?”  
  
“Yes this is fine for now.”  
  
I can hear the door slide open and of course it is Brian. “Christ Sunshine did you leave anything without sugar in the store?”  
  
I have missed being his Sunshine so much, hell I want to hug and cry out to the world how much I love Brian Aiden Kinney. “Nope I left all the Kebbler cookies; I know someone likes to eat them when I am not looking.”  
  
He just gives me his version of his sunshine smile, he is the most handsome man in the world when he does that or anything, and I just wish he would do it more often. “Here let me out here Justin, you shouldn’t even be lifting anything that is remotely heavy with your ribs broken.”  
  
The girl at the register is just at a loss for words as she just watches Brian piling all the items I will need for a week or so. I will give her credit though as she rings everything up quickly that way we can get out of there quickly.  
  
“That will be $241.53.” Brian quickly grabs the money from his pocket and hands her 3 bills. I love that he can do things so normal, just spending over $200 on different necessities like it is nothing.  
  
He is an amazing man I just wish everyone could see the person I do. We head back out to the jeep and Bri quickly loads up the back seat with everything that I have purchased.  
  
“Brian can you grab the gauze and wrap for me. That way when we get to Woody’s I can go and put them on.”  
  
“Sure would you like the Neosporin as well?”  
  
I just nod my head. My mind and body are aching and I just want to get everything over with. I am once again thankful that Brian is not much of a speaker so we can enjoy just being near each other.  
  
He sets his hand out, palm up, and I quickly interlace my fingers with his. As soon as our skin makes contact he turns his head in my head in my direction and gives me his own version of a sunshine smile.  
  
“I thought I was doing the right thing pushing you away, Justin. I truly do love you but I was afraid of what that meant.”  
  
“It is okay now Brian don’t worry about that now. Let’s just get this over with so you can take me home.”  
  
We pull into the parking lot and I am glad to see that Woody’s during the day is practically abandoned. I am glad I will not have to seal with more people then necessary.  
  
I grab the few things I will need and walk into Woody’s. “Why don’t you let me help you I have some experience with mending broken ribs back to normal?”  
  
I love that Brian has not completely freaked out yet but I know at one point he will. I just have to be sure to be there to pick up the pieces from the meltdown that Brian Kinney is capable of. “Sure Brian that would be great thank you for that.”  
  
We walk into Woody’s and a couple people give me an odd look but I really do not care. Once inside the bathroom I start to remove my shirt and Brian is washing his hands.  
  
Brian begins to open up all the packages and sets them on the counter. “When I put the wrap on you will have to tell me if you are still able to breathe because it will have to be as tight as possible.”  
  
I once again fell no need for words as I nod and he begins the process. The Neosporin is extremely cold; I flinch at the contact spooking Brian.  
  
“It is fine Brian just a little cold.”  
  
That doesn’t end the concerned look he is giving me but he still continues. In the mirror I can see my condition my body is in and I am slightly horrified that it is me or that Brian can even stand to look at me. I am yellow, purple and black covered in scabs and fresh gashes.  
  
When he starts to wrap my ribs I can feel them poking into my lungs and it is excruciating. When he finishes up he starts to throw out all the packages.  
  
“You are too good at this Brian and I wish you were not.”  
  
“Yeah well what can I say Daddy like to break ribs on almost a daily basis and there was nothing either of us could do.”  
  
He doesn’t elaborate and nor does he have to for me to understand what really went on through the Kinney household not after what I went through in the Gold residency. We walk out and take our usual seat at the bar just simply waiting for the bartender to come to us. Joe, gives good head and not bad in the sack, comes over and sets down two full glasses of Beam in front of us.  
  
  
“It is on us tonight, whatever you would like Justin, Dave the owner wants you to have. He too lived in an abusive relationship and he admires you for being able to get out any way that you had to.”  
  
I am sort of shocked considering I knew that Dave was a huge guy and if he too was abused I guess it can happen to anyone. Brian and I clink our glasses and swallow them down quickly before Joe has another set lined up in front us. I place an order of smothered fries and Brian and I just continue to shoot back the glasses of Beam.  
  
We sit there quietly not saying anything to each other. I do not know when I have felt so safe before tonight but having Brian by my side I know that nothing bad can happen to me anymore for he is my protector my knight in shining armor. I can hear Brian’s cell going off and I wonder who it could be.  
  
He quickly answers it and is talking fast to whoever is on the other line. “Yeah... tomorrow at 11 sounds good... I will tell him... I’ll talk to you later.” He closes his phone and doesn’t say anything else. My curiosity is killing me and I have to know.  
  
“Who was that Brian?”  
  
“It was Cynthia we have an appointment with a plastic surgeon tomorrow.”  
  
I guess he was right about wanting to fix me up but hell plastic surgery. I guess that is one way of removing what Ethan did to me. My order of food comes up and we quietly eat the yummy yet disgusting fries.  
  
We are enjoying ourselves in the comfortable silence until I feel someone spin my stool and grab me. I cannot control what happens as I begin to shake and cry loudly. I felt like Ethan has comes back and was trying to finish the job of smothering me.  
  
“Jesus fucking Christ Deb let go of him.”  
  
I start to somewhat relax but I can feel my chest starting to bleed through my shirt. I know I cannot wait until I heal because this is going to become a pain for me.  
  
“Sorry did I hurt you sunshine, I just couldn’t help myself I thought I lost you.”  
  
“It is fine Deb just for now don’t do it again at least until I tell you it is okay, alright?”  
  
She just nods her head but I can feel her staring at me and already want to fucking scream at her. Brian is just quietly sitting there but I know he was pissed about Debbie hugging me tightly.  
  
I quietly excuse myself to the restroom. I just look at myself in the mirror and I do not recognize the person looking back. How did the world get so fucked up so quickly? I know I cannot delay the inevitable any longer as I walk back into the bar.  
  
I am immediately swooped up into another hug and am being passed around each hug getting tighter and tighter then the one before it. I can feel the blood running down my stomach and I am pissed.  
  
“All of you stop fucking touching me. Christ because of what all of you did you have reopened all of my wounds. Now all of you idiots have blood all over you. Do you fucking feel better since you got to hug poor wittle Justin?”  
  
I can see my mother, Lindsey, Melanie, Emmett, and Daphne all look down at their shirts seeing that I have bled out on them. I can feel the rage pouring off of Brian as he starts his own rant on our family.  
  
“I told all of you not to fucking hug him, I especially told you he had broken ribs and wounds on his chest and what do all you morons do?”  
  
I set my hands on his knee knowing it will calm him instantly. “It is fine Brian after I finish explaining what going on we will re-bandage it.”  
  
I take a really long deep breath trying to calm myself knowing it will not work.  
  
“When I start to explain which I will only do once I do not want to be interrupted and if I am then I will stop and leave. If that happens I will not explain it later that is what the trail is for. Am I perfectly clear on all of that?”  
  
Everyone, except for Michael since he is not here, nods there heads.  



	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14  
  
Justin P.O.V.  
  
  
I look over everyone as they sit there waiting for me to explain. I order a couple more doubles before I start because I know I will need them before I am finished.  
  
The Rundown  
  
After I left Brian at the rage party everything was fine. Ethan was a dotting ‘boyfriend’, saying and doing all the things Brian would not do.  
  
We would go out and he would hold my hand and things were good. I thought that even though I loved Brian desperately with my whole heart that I would sooner or later have some sort of feelings for Ethan.  
  
A couple of days after our break up I went to Lindsey and Melanie’s house to give them their anniversary present I had bought them prior to Brian and I break up. Linds and Mel told me that I was their friend as well as Brian’s, even though we broke didn’t mean that they stopped caring about me.  
  
We all remembered what happened at the party, Brian punching Michael but I can guarantee that none of you knew the reason behind it all. Michael told Brian that ‘he should have left me there to die’.  
  
That is when it happened. I knew in my heart that I had made a mistake, that even though Brian did not say the words he told me everyday that he loved me.  
  
When Ethan and I returned to his apartment I explained to him that I was wrong and I was leaving him. Let’s just say it did not go over very well and that was the night it began.  
  
Ethan beat me to a bloody pulp every night and a group of friends took it upon themselves to rape and drug me every night. It lasted every night for six weeks and it never stopped not even for a moment.  
  
The things he did to me were horrible and I do not feel like reliving them. So use your imagination and wait until the trial to hear the details. On the night I killed him he pushed me too far and scared me for life and I refused to take anymore from him.  
  
After he finished cutting me up I grabbed the knife and stabbed him until the cops kicked down the door. Altogether I stabbed him six times and thankfully it was enough.  
  
As you all know I was brought in and processed and Brian was wonderful enough to bail me out. We just left the courthouse after I heard my plea bargain.  
  
I denied my plea bargain since it was absolutely ridiculous. 2 year in prison and 5 years probation for man 1. We are going to trial and hopefully I will win. If I unfortunately lose there is a chance that I will have to do anywhere 8 to 15 years for manslaughter.  
  
Well that is the situation you may bombard me with whatever your situation maybe.  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
Everyone has tears running down there face especially Daphne. Debbie speaks as if she is the ambassador for them. “I am so sorry Justin I had no idea that; if I had maybe then I would have gone looking for you after you quit the diner.”  
  
I knew she would feel guilty hell I am sure that all of them do to a certain extent. Well except for Michael he just couldn’t care about me.  
  
“Guys there were nothing any of you could do so just leave it alone. I am exhausted and only had three hours of sleep so I am going to go.”  
  
I just look at Brian and he is already standing up waiting for me. He throws some cash on the bar and we quickly walk out the door. I figure I will get one on one with everyone throughout the week but for now I do not have it in me.  
  
We quickly make our way into the loft still not saying anything to each other and I can honestly say that I am enjoying just being with Brian. He sets down all the shit that I bought at CVS and puts away the ice packs for them to chill.  
  
“Bri I am going to take a nice long hot shower, when I get out will you wrap me up again?”  
  
“Sure Sunshine whatever you would like. Are you still hungry or do you want something to drink?”  
  
“No I am good for now. If you could roll up a couple joints that would be really good since I just want to de-zoom.”  
  
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
  
As I stand in the shower I have a chance to reflect on everything. What will I do if I have to go to prison for 8 years? What will happen to me and Brian if I get found guilty? Would he wait for me or even still love me if I am convicted murder? What will I do when I get out?  
  
I can hear yelling and screaming coming from the other room so I quickly shut off the shower to see what is going on. After wrapping the towel around my waist I run out to see what all the commotion was about.  
  
I am floored at what I see, Michael half naked on the floor begging Brian to love him. I cannot control myself as I start to laugh at him; it is just too funny of a concept that Brian would even want him that way.  
  
Brian whips his head around to look at me with a look of ‘help me’. Just seeing the look makes me laugh even harder then before. I keep laughing until I hear venom coming from Michael’s mouth.  
  
“Too bad Ethan didn’t finish the job. You really are Brian’s whore and you’ll never be anything more then a waste of life that should have died...”  
  
Michael did not have a chance to finish his statement as Brian knocks him back onto the floor. Brian keeps punching Michael over and over again never letting up for a second each punch coming harder and harder. He is yelling at Michael at the top of his lungs and the things he says starts to worry me; Brian has finally snapped.  
  
“Don’t you ever fucking talk to Justin that way ever again? Even if you fucking look at him funny I will murder you where you stand. I hate you for doing this to him. I will love him no matter what you say and no matter what you do to him. He will always be perfect to me and you will always be beneath him forever you worthless fucker. I want you dead Ethan!”  
  
When I hear Ethan’s name I know I have to stop Brian from going to far and killing Michael. “Brian stop he is out cold, do not keep going before I lose you too.”  
  
He stopped what he was doing and just looked at me. Brian drops to his knees and just let’s go. He is crying so hard like I have never seen a person do. He is visibly shaking and I start to worry for him.  
  
I walk up to him and he just wraps his arms around my waist. He just sobs uncontrollably into my stomach and I run my fingers through his hair trying to soothe him.  
  
“I thought he was Ethan. After what he said to you I just blacked out. I am just like him.”  
  
“Brian you are nothing like him. Trust neither me you are nothing like him nor will you ever be.”  
  
Brian is still crying into my stomach when I hear Michael start to grumble and I know that I have to get him out there before he becomes fully conscious. What to do though, I can not lift him out not with my ribs broken. So I have to call someone but whom?  
  
I weigh my options and I have made a decision and I just have to hope it is the right one. “Brian you have to let me go just for a moment but I will be right back.” He slowly lets go and as soon as he is barely hanging on I slip out of his grasp and rush to get the phone.  
  
As soon as it is in my hand I quickly go back into position in Brian’s arms. I dial the number I have decided on and I hold my breath hoping that this will not backfire.  
  
“Hello”  
  
“Emmett I need your help now, I do not need you to ask any questions but come over to Brian’s and help me get rid of Michael.”  
  
“Honey why can’t he get himself out of the loft?”  
  
“Brian snapped at what Michael said to me and knocked him out. He is lying on the floor out cold and he needs to be gone now. Trust me it is the best solution for the situation that I have right now.”  
  
“Alright we will be there in like 3 minutes, Ted and I are about to get on Tremont right now.”  
  
I hang up the phone and I toss it hopefully onto the sofa. My hand goes back into Brian’s hair and I slowly start to stroke it calming him back down. Brian is still crying and has not stopped yet and I am starting to get concerned.  
  
I start telling him all the things that I know that are not true but he needs to hear. “I am fine Brian... everything will be alright...we will get through this together... I need you Brian, I need you to be strong for me can you do that for me? Tell me you will be strong for me... I do not know what I will do without you.”  
  
I hear the door slid open and I see Emmett and Ted just staring at the sight before them. What a sight it must be to behold.  
  
First you have Michael laid out with no shirt and his pants barely on. Then you have me showing off all of my glory cuts, bruises, and burns for all to see. Last and probably worst is Brian on his knees balling into my stomach.  
  
“What the fuck happened here?” I knew Ted would say something I mean Christ he has only been in love with Michael since he meet.  
  
“It’ll take too long to explain just get him out of here now before he wakes up and says anything else. He has done enough damage here. Stop staring at me and get him the fuck out of here NOW!”  
  
Ted is still staring at the sight before him and not saying anything. Reliable Emmett is scrambling around getting all of Michael’s things. He barks the command at Ted to ‘help him’.  
  
Soon they are dragging Michael out of the loft and it seems our problem maybe temporarily over. I am still stroking Brian’s hair when I feel the tears stop running down my stomach.  
  
“Is he gone? Will he be alright?”  
  
“Yes Brian Michael is gone and he more then likely will be okay after a while. Don’t worry about him though... are you okay?”  
  
“Yeah I will be okay after a bit. I really do not know what happened Justin I just lost it for some reason.”  
  
“It is understandable. Come lay down with me. I am tired and I want to feel your body next to mine please.”  
  
Brian stands up slowly and heads into the kitchen. I wonder for a moment until I see the bandages in his hand.  
  
“Come on let me wrap you then we will sleep.”  



	15. Chapter 15

  
Author's notes: I am really sorry about taking so long to update this story.  I hope that you all enjoy what I have written. If you would like leave feedback it is greatly appreciated. This chapter is un'betad so all mistakes are my own.  


* * *

Chapter 15  
  
Justin P.O.V.  
  
Of all the times I have heard people say it I do not understand how people can say Brian is a cold hearted son of a bitch. He has always been more then considerate to me.  
  
I will say though when we are alone he is a different man but I love both of them. The hard ass that everyone sees is amazingly strong and passionate. The caring and gentle man that I only get to see is just perfect he is tender and considerate of any of my needs.  
  
I can hear Brian in the bathroom washing his hands in preparation of taking care of my wounds. I zone out thinking about numerous things.  
  
I think about how much time he spent with me after the bashing helping me become a whole man again. He did so many different things to help me remember anything that I know were painful for him.  
  
After I finally did remember something he treated me so precious like I would break. He made love to me all night long and reintroduced me to the wonderful joys of being touched by him.  
  
I think about the first time he ever really fucked me; the fast hard pounding of his cock into me in the shower the thought still sends shivers down my spine just thinking about it. It is amazing how his cock can do so many different things and still be the same appendage.  
  
It is not like he has the most beautiful cock that feels wonderful no matter nor is it he has the experience that rivals a porn star. It is everything; the way Brian makes you feel like there is no one else in the world at that moment and no one as special.  
  
Honestly everything thing that consists of Brian Kinney, the enigma, is amazing; unfortunately no one bothers to get to know who he really is. Even his closest friends only see him as the man that can fuck anything that moves.  
  
Nobody bothers to get to know the man that refused to give up his parental rights, there are so many layers to Brian and it seems as I am the only who cares.  
  
“So are you ready to have me wrap you up?”  
  
Grant it I hate that I got interrupted from my musing but then again it was by the real man. How lucky can I possibly be so lucky to have that man caring about me?  
  
I just simply nod my head and he sits next to me on the sofa. I notice that he has changed into a pair of joggers and it is one of the hottest outfits for him.  
  
I’ll never forget the very first time I ever saw him. I knew with in that first second that Brian was truly the most beautiful man I ever set my eyes on.  
  
In between his slightly muscled chest and his perfectly proportioned body I knew he was the man I wanted forever. His facial features rival those of a Greek god. His firm cheek bones that off set his lush lips and the not too broad nose, perfection.  
  
I am thankful to all of those above that for whatever reason Brian fell in love with me. I mean by any means I am a small, weak, and not worth a shit but for some reason he loves me.  
  
“Jus where are you? I was telling you it would probably hurt and if it gets too bad just let me know? Are you worried about how badly treated Michael?”  
  
“No Brian just the opposite. I was thinking about what a wonderful man that you are and how lucky I am that you fell in love with me.”  
  
“How could I not, you are everything I have ever dreamed of. You are my angel; so innocent and yet so strong. The bravest man I have ever seen who refused to lay down for anything or anyone. I wish I had half the strength that you have; if I did maybe I would be a better person.”  
  
“I used your strength Bri if it wasn’t for you I would still be living at home being afraid of my homophobic father and following his ridiculous rules. Don’t ever doubt yourself Brian ever.”  
  
I look at Brian and I see a tear running down his face. His face is so open the mask no longer in place; he is letting me see past all the bullshit. How different I think my world would be if I never went down to Liberty Ave that own fateful night.  
  
I thumb away his tear and he gives me a small smile. At that moment I just think that maybe everything might be okay that maybe it will work out in the end for us.  
  
I just need to feel him, to feel connected to the man I love. I pull his face forward towards mine and I can see fireworks the second our lips meet. Just like the first time I confirm that Brian is the man will spend the rest of my life with.  
  
I push my tongue into his mouth, when our tongues connect I feel as though my soul is complete. Our kiss is not hurried or forced it isn’t about foreplay or the first step of sex. It is our way of simply saying our words of love without having to verbalize them.  
  
We have always been able to speak through body language and today is no different. Words have failed us on different times so some times we just have to by pass all the bullshit.  
  
Our kiss is just starting to pick up intensity when we hear the phone ringing off the hook. I pull away from Brian’s lips and he just looks at me like I just took his candy away from him.  
  
“Should you answer that?”  
  
“No fuck whoever it is, I don’t care.”  
  
“Bri what if it is Sally?”  
  
“Then she will leave a message.”  
  
Brian pulls me back and our kiss resumes once again with more intensity behind it. God I want him so much, I don’t think I have ever wanted anyone as much as I want him right now. His mouth is intoxicating and his tongue is a drug that I will never get enough of.  
  
The ringing stops and the answering machine picks up. We can hear Ben screaming through the machine and I just bust out laughing. Brian pulls back and just quirks an eyebrow.  
  
“With a mouth like that you cannot call him Zen Ben anymore.”  
  
After I finish saying that Brian starts his own bout of laughing his ass off. We enjoy our laugh for we know it will be one and few in between. When our giggles, yes we giggled, started to die down Brian stood up and held out his hand.  
  
I clasp his hand and he helps me stand up; I am glad he reached out, for no other reason then to touch. We walk into the bedroom and we just stare at the bed with both of our minds racing with different thoughts.  
  
I know I what I want to do but it is impossible for the next couple weeks. Ethan and his friends made sure I was good and torn. It is not that I want to have rough sex with Brian but I do want to feel connected to him.  
  
Even if Brian was to bottom my ribs are just killing me so therefore no thrusting. So what is a horny, gay boy to do?  
  
I un-wrap my towel and I sit on the bed. I pull Brian’s hips towards me as I slowly peel his pants away. When the elastic band catches on Brian’s hard cock, I can’t help but smile.  
  
I look into his eyes and I can tell that he is embarrassed by the situation. As I keep dragging Brian’s pants down his lush cock, it bounces free it is just inches away from my mouth, which literally starts to water wanting to taste him. Even after everything that has happened to me I still want to do these things.  
  
“You don’t have to Justin not if you are not ready. I mean I do not mind waiting for however long it takes.”  
  
“I want to taste you Brian I want to feel you again. I need to feel the sense of normalcy that I only get when I am with you.”  
  
I wrap my lips around his lush, thick, delectable cock and I begin to suck. I inhale him like a lifeline, just the taste and his wonderful musky scent that is Brian Kinney almost sends me over the brink.  
  
I do not know what Brian does but he is intoxicating. Every bit of him is a delicious new drug and with each new part I get lifted into a new plane of ecstasy.  
  
All the things I have been worried about are all gone, every concern and every thought are all gone now that I am touching him. Brian is amazing man as he does not want to rush me into anything I do not want to do. Just like he has done on numerous occasions he just sits back and allows me to enjoy his body at my own pace.  
  
Just like the first time my tongue ever touched his body he has always given me free reign. I think that is half the reason I know every inch that will give him pleasure since I have already discovered it. How else would he know that right above his left elbow would make him instantly hard?  
  
As my tongue curls and licks over his fat delicious head I can hear him grunt out the first sign that he will be cumming soon. I am actually surprised he would be ready so quickly, but I go along the sensations in my mouth.  
  
He is moaning so loud that I can feel his body trembling. I truly get a sense of pleasure when I hear, see, smell, or taste him orgasm. He is completely animalistic when he reaches his peak and just knowing that I did that to him pushes me over the brink.  
  
Brian’s body slacks and normally he would steady himself on my shoulders but tonight he just sways a little. He gets out of my line of impact before he flops on the bed.  
  
“I never thought I would ever feel that again. Even in my wildest dreams it never felt as good as it just did.”  
  
“Me either sunshine. I just was wondering a couple things though?”  
  
Bri turns on his back waiting for me to crawl up to meet him. I slowly make my way into his arms and once they are completely wrapped around me he continues.  
  
“Did he hurt you internally I mean... fuck did he tear you?”  
  
“I don’t think it was Ethan but one of his friends did; yes I have four stitches. Does that disgust you?”  
  
“No nothing about you would ever disgust me. I was just wondering if the damage was only on the outside that’s all.”  
  
“Brian can I ask you something?”  
  
“Sure baby anything you want.”  
  
“If this never happened, Ethan doing this to me, do you think you would still fell this way about me? I mean it took this situation for you to tell me you loved me. Would you have said it if I came back to you on a normal circumstance?”  
  
“Yes I know I would have. I know if you stayed with him any longer I was about ready to knock down his door and tell you everything. It was eating me up inside not telling you.  
  
“I wanted to tell you so many different times but I was afraid because the night I wanted to tell you the first time, with no orgasm involved, was on prom. I felt since, in my mind, it got you hurt.”  
  
“You know that is ludicrous even for you Brian. Your love isn’t dangerous, just look at how much you love your son.”  
  
I can feel his chest rise as he sighs heavily. I know this conversation is a lot longer then I anticipated considering I honestly did not think he would answer me.  
  
“Jus it is because of you that I am even capable saying that yes I love my son. If you weren’t around I would have never realized how much the kid meant to me. Hell before you I figured that since my own parents couldn’t love me or I them then how anyone or anything could matter to me.”  
  
So wow Brian is opening up himself up to me and I love that he is finally being honest. I wonder how much he is going to reveal to me. I’ll just have to wait and see. His fingers are running through my hair and I feel safe and loved something I haven’t been in a long time.  
  
“Did you know that the first night I saw you under the lamp post I thought you were an angel. A figment of my imagination because someone as beautiful as you could not be made by man. Only a god could have made someone as perfect not even the most famed painting could rival the gracefulness of your features.”  
  
In between Brian’s voice, his steady heart beat, and his fingers in my hair I can feel myself drifting off to sleep. His words of love lull me into a wonderful dreamland.  
  
“I was drawn to you and even though I forced myself to look away I couldn’t. I would not stop until I heard your voice to confirm that I had been blessed enough to know that God finally answered all my prayers for the perfect man. The first syllable ever spoke from you I knew right away that you were the one. I fought so hard to push you away for I was afraid of what you meant and stood for.  
  
“Our first night together when you told me you were a virgin I felt as if I would explode. You were everything I have ever imagined of the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. You are pure, untouched, and smitten with me. When I said I loved you that first night I truly meant it...”  
  



End file.
